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From:
Melissa Vickers <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Lactation Information and Discussion <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Sun, 14 Dec 1997 11:42:09 -0500
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Hi, all

I've got to admit, Ferber is one of my "hot buttons." Seems to me that the
problem with this method is that it seeks to answer the wrong question,
namely, "How do I get my child to sleep through the night?" A more important
question, and the one that Dr. William Sears addresses, is "How do I meet
the nighttime needs of my child?"

The two questions are not (necessarily) mutually exclusive, but the second
starts with the assumptions that a) my child has needs at night; b)
parenting doesn't stop at sundown; and c) my child's nighttime needs may
change with time and may be different from another child's.

Unfortunately, sleep-starved parents can be easily deluded into thinking
that the #1 goal is to get the child (baby) to sleep through the night,
whatever it takes, all for the good of the child. (This is similar to the
Ezzo approach.)

Imagine a new parent at the bookstore, and looking for help. He or she finds
two books:  One, Ferber's _How to Get Your Child to Sleep at Night_
(whatever the exact title is), and the other, Sears' _Nighttime Parenting_.
The Sears' title implies that the parent might actually be expected to DO
something at night, whereas the other implies that children MUST sleep all
night, and it has the added benefit that mom and dad get to sleep, too. It's
no wonder the Ferber method is so well known.

Not only does the Ferber method assume that a baby needs to be sleeping
(alone) all night, but it also asks mom (and dad) to ignore her instincts to
be with the child.

So how do we get parents to reach for the nighttime parenting method?
Through education that teaches new parents/parents to be about baby's
sleeping habits, about how to meet those needs, about how to trust their own
instincts, and about how to get the rest that they need.

Cimbing down from a tattered soap box....


Melissa Vickers, IBCLC
[log in to unmask]
http://yourpregnancy.com/experts/panel/mcvickers.htm
Huntingdon, Tennessee

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