In a message dated 97-10-15 09:33:26 EDT, you write:

<<  part of this issue is the matter of spoiling the child... there are still
 many who believe that if you handle, cuddle let the child sleep with you
then
 you will spoil him/her... pnp in my office today told of how often she and
 her husband are looked at and "spoken to" about bringing their baby into the
 bed... GRRRRRRRRR

   we ( americans) are deathly afraid of commitments and dependance. >>

Interesting article in the Trib this morning -- for you who get it
(Wednesday, Oct 15), it is "In Japan, aspiring baby-sitters need not apply."
 Without going into long detail, the article differentiates between how
Americans view children and how Japanese women view their family
relationships, relationships with husband and with children.  A couple of
quotes were particularly telling:

"Most American parents, mindful of the stresses of child rearing eagerly
accept the idea that it is healthy to get away from the kids on a regular
basis and that spouses need time together.  Parenting experts support the
concept.  But the suggestion doesn't work in Japan because the relationship
between parents and children is completely different said Chikako Fukatsu, a
clinical psychologist in Tokyo.

"From birth, American parents strive to mold their children into independent
 individuals.  Commonly, babies sleep in their own rooms, and parents expect
them to learn to fall asleep alone.  In Japan, the idea of independence is
not the same.  Normal Japanese behavior is for parents and children to sleep
together in one room, and for mothers to be with their children almost
constantly during th day.  The whole concept of separation does not become an
issue until school age.

"The most noticeable repercussion of the Japanese sensibility is that
children accompany their mothers everywhere in public and tend to be
well-behaved.  The theory is that they are less aware of their independent
identities."

The article does go on to say that Japanese education leaders are concerned
about a lack of creative thinking by students.

Of course, I'm concerned less about creative thinking and more about drugs,
shootings in the school, lack of discipline in the classes, dropouts, gangs,
disrespect, etc etc in many US schools.

Perhaps we could learn something about "spoiling" and the effects that
co-sleeping and taking your kids everywhere from the Japanese??

Jan