Regarding the language of sabotage. Last year I attended a conference
entitled "The Mind Body Connection" here in Australia.
One of the speakers was Loretta LaRoche from the States who spoke on
managing stress through humor. She was an incredibly funny speaker who had
the entire audience laughing.
She told us that two of the worst words in the entire English language are
"must" and "should".  She spoke of the negative impact we have on people by
telling them that they should or must behave in a certain way. She also
spoke of the negative impact that "should"s  and "musts" have on us when we
use them in our inner conversations. She referred to it as " shoulding on
yourself" and "musterbating"!
Equally we can "should" on others.
I have found this very useful. Now whenever I use the word should or must I
find myself smiling and trying to find a more positive and  constructive
way of making my point.
Laureen Lawlor-Smith
South Australia