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Date: | Fri, 25 Apr 1997 11:16:34 -0400 |
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One of our Michigan peer counselors composed the following. Enjoy.
Karen
Brighton, MI
=You might be a Breastfeeding Peer Counselor if:
=You use the word good and suck in the same sentence.
=You have used every body part that will fit comfortably into a breastpump
for demonstration purposes, and have the "love bites" to prove it.
=Dinner time is not longer signalled by the smoke alarm but by your beeper.
=You can use the words flap, wings, shield and latch and never once mention
an airplane.
="Mom" means a woman who might be younger than you and none of her babies
are your siblings.
=You now belond to the "inverted" group, an occupational hazard of 2 years
worth of demonstrating the technique to stop leaking.
=You have a head of cabbage in your freezer year-round.
="Stool" is not something that has four legs.
="Letdown" is not a disappointment.
="Suck" is a good thing.
=Boats no longer come in but milk does.
=You experience "letdown" and it has been over 5 years since you nursed a baby.
=Your index finger is permanently puckered from the stresses of suck training.
=You know what suck training is.
=The sight of formula and all tha paraphernalia that goes with it raises
your blood pressure but strengthens your cause.
=Each and every member of your family could give a 20 minute speech on the
benefits of breastfeeding, including the 7 year old.
=Montgomery no longer brings visions of a county western singer.
=You now know that "areaola" is not a city in MOngolia, meconium is not a
contagious disease, lactation is not the name of the latest perfume and
colostrum is not a musical instrument.
=You now know that the other thing besides starting with a "n" that noses
and nipples have in common is that there are no two alike, thus explaining
the survival of Playboy.
=In your humble opinion, if all babies were breastfed, then there would be
peace on earth.
Mary Schommer, Sanilac County, Michigan
Michigan State University Extension/WIC Breastfeeding Peer Counselor
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