Leslie, thanks for the wonderful set of references on language.
I would like to address one issue which you brought up, the word "try."
One of my realms of experience is as a hypnotist. There I was encouraged to eliminate the word "try" from my vocabulary. Instead I use phrases like "do the best you can," "work towards," "play with". To "try" is to admit at the outset that failure is possible. When you "do the best you can" you are always successful at the level you attained.
When you talk about "trying" in the past tense, it usually goes on to describe an attempt that failed. "I tried to call you yesterday," "I tried to send that e-mail out. . ." "I tried to ski once. . ." Get the picture. So when you ask "are you going to try to breastfeed, " you're already suggesting a possibility of lack of success. Yes, I know, some women are NOT successful, but we don't have to build it into the equation. When they know they did the best they could, they feel less of a failure as a mother, as a woman.
It is very hard to take "try" out of your vocabulary when speaking in present or future tenses. I still slip after ten years of working at it. But I am constantly working on it. And I explain the concept to prenatal patients coping with problems, laboring women doing their best not to take analgesics, women who are learning to breast feed, and their families who are standing by saying "try this, try that..." It seems to make sense to them, and for many makes a positive difference in their approach, sometimes in their outcome, and often with their feeling of satisfaction with what they HAVE achieved.
Sincerely, Chanita, San Francisco
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