>>This is the one I mentioned as making us want to scream.  Called, asked for
advice, did opposite.  SHould we give her a long song and dance about
relactation and how it's so difficult, or do we try to encourage  her? Have
any of you seen women who show these signs. Is this a strong case to suspect
bulemia or not?  Can we report this to people who deal with child neglect if
a mother is putting a baby on a diet?<<

Nofia,
I feel very strongly that some interventions need to occur.  First, for the
baby's sake, the pediatrician needs to be advised of your collective
observations and suspicions.  Secondly, I think that someone needs to be
candid with this mother about what appears to be going on, and the dangers
both to her and the baby. She needs to be referred to her doctor and to a
therapist for evaluation. Mother is obviously vacillating between guilt and
dysfunction on the topic of breastfeeding her baby, and baby is the unwilling
victim caught in the middle. Mom needs to be gently confronted with the fact
that she may have a skewed perspective on what constitutes normal nutritional
needs for her baby.  And somewhere along the line, someone--- maybe you, or
the pediatrician, or maybe a therapist------- needs to explain that it is the
withholding of food during infancy that can lead to uncontrolled eating
habits and obesity later in life, and not feeding on demand and plump
infants.  At the very least, this mom and baby need to be followed tightly by
*someone*.

Should mom relactate? Not unless she is willing to face her issues and proper
interventions are in place first. IMO,  she has too much control with
breastfeeding, as she can prevent others from feeding the baby when he is
otherwise undernourished. I do not say this lightly! Do act quickly, and
soon.

-Lisa Marasco, BA, LLLL, IBCLC