I'm just catching up on the last few days of Lactnet, so I'm a little late
replying to this thread.
As some others have described, I also had no previous exposure to
breastfeeding, and had never thought much about it one way or the other.
The first time I was pregnant (miscarried), I remember reading about bf in
a popular pregnancy book -- when I got to the part about cracked and
bleeding nipples, I was so horrified I had to just close the book.
But I knew even then that I would give it a try, because I'd read enough to
know it was the best thing to do. When I got pregnant again, I was much
more used to the idea, and so was not so overwhelmed by the potential
difficulties.
I still couldn't imagine what it would be like, though. And I was very
anxious about it -- more so than about the birth, itself. At one point I
dreamed that I had the baby -- he just slipped out painlessly while I was
in the shower -- and then, in my dream, he latched on right away and knew
just what to do. After that, I felt much better about the upcoming
experience. I felt, "I will be able to do this (bf)."
But I still had to contend with all my acquaintances at work who already
had children and who told me about their bf experiences. They were all
negative! One woman told me that the only good thing about having had a
C-Section was that they gave you a prescription for codeine tablets, which
you would need to get through the pain of breastfeeding! Another good
friend said bf was so painful it made her toes curl.
So some days while I wsa pregnant I would think, "well, I'll bf for one
year." Then some days, I'd think, "OK, 6 months." Then I'd think, "OK, 2
years," then "OK, 6 weeks." At the time, I was thinking only of the baby
needing breastmilk for general health reasons -- it hadn't occurred to me
that I'd enjoy it, and that the baby and I would both get emotional
benefits from it, too.
The smart thing I did was to visit an LLL meeting a couple of weeks before
my baby was due. It was a small group that night, but one woman made a very
strong impression on me. She had a 4-year old daughter who still nursed
once or twice a day. I'd never even considered anyone nursing that long --
I had just never thought about it at all. But she and her daughter clearly
had a special relationship, and I could tell just from the short time I saw
them that her daughter was a happy and joyful child.
The next smart thing I did was call an LC a couple of days after my son was
born. I wasn't having any particular problems, but I needed some
reassurance. (I got very little support in the hospital, and of course, had
to leave after 24 hours, so we got home at 10 pm on a Sunday night.)
The LC made sure we were on the right track, and told me about another LLL
group in the area. I went, and again met a mother (the leader) who was to
have a big influence on me. She was nursing a toddler and pregnant with her
4th. I could see, watching her, that she was the kind of mother I wanted to
be (even though I couldn't have articulated exactly what that meant at the
time).
Well, now I'm nursing a 22-month old, and hoping he'll nurse long enough to
remember it. I think nothing in this world compares to nursing your baby to
sleep. It grieves me to hear of babies and mothers who miss this experience
for whatever reason.
When I was pregnant, I heard only negative bf stories from other mothers --
no one ever told me what a wonderful and joyous experience it is. So
whenever I can strike up a conversation with a pregnant woman, I ask if
it's her first, if she's interested in nursing, and I tell her how great bf
is. I want to make sure she hears at least one good story about it.
So that's my story. I feel incredibly lucky to have the experience of
breastfeeding a baby. All along the path that lead me to having a baby and
choosing to breastfeed, there were so many other ways I might have gone,
but luckily (re bf) I knew good advice when I heard it/read it/saw it, and
also luckily, I was ready to hear it.
With regards,
Betty Meeler
Durham, NC, USA
Mother to Jack, born 2/18/95.
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