How I love Jon Ahrendsen's question: "How long do you plan to breastfeed the baby?"

We have to be so careful of not only *how* we phrase our questions, but *when* we ask them.
Why do we ask pregnant women to decide on a feeding method before they have had their babies?
Unfortunately, many (if not most) women in the USA live in a bottle-feeding culture, and have
probably never even seen a mother breastfeed. Of course she will say that she is planning to bottle
feed! And having told somebody *official* of that choice, and having seen it written down on a
form, the mother is very unlikely to be comfortable enough to change her mind, even if she does
have second thoughts. Why don't we just assume that everyone will breastfeed and educate them
accordingly? This method was very successful in increasing both the incidence and the duration of
breastfeeding at the WIC clinic where I used to work, even with mothers who had bottle fed previous
children and had never even thought about nursing. One of the keys to success was stressing that
mothers did not have to make a decision until after the birth. We got some very pleasant surprises
when they came in with their new babies!

Let's also think of how we phrase the questions we ask new mothers. I used to dread well-baby
checkups because of the questions I was asked by a clipboard-wielding nurse! It was very
intimidating to be asked things like, "Are you still nursing", "How often does your baby nurse?"
and "Does your baby sleep through the night yet?" All these questions presupposed that there was a
right and a wrong answer!
I would have much rather have been asked, "How is the nursing going?", "Tell me about your baby's
nursing patterns", and "Do you have any questions about nighttime parenting?" It would have been
much less intimidating to have been asked open-ended questions, and I suspect that I would have
given more information, too! My *baby* is now 16 years old, and I still shudder at the thought of
what I saw as *interrogations* by a no-doubt well-meaning HCP.

As the sergeant always says on *Hill Street Blues*, "Let's be careful out there!"


Norma Ritter, IBCLC, LLLL
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"If not now, when? If not us, who?" R. Hillel