My first child had five cavaties by the time she was two years old (still
b'feeding occasionally , though not throughout the night, just to go to
sleep). It was discovered that she had incomplete enamel on all of her
teeth, some visible as pale yellow areas.  She saw a dentist every four
months, had new cavaties each visit. We eliminated all refined sugars and
brushed after her eating anything(I did the brushing.). She continued
getting new cavaties in these primary teeth long after she was no longer
b'feeding.  Two pediatric dentists told me (26 years ago) that had she been
injesting ABM she would have had even more serious dental problems.  Her
permanent teeth were perfect and she certainly took good care of them!

I attribute her incomplete enamel problem to calcium deficiency during my
pregnancy.  I had a lot of leg cramps for which my ob recommended Benadryl
to help me go to sleep(!)  There could also have been an interference in
calcium absorption at the time of calcification of the teeth(around 3 or 4
months +, I think).

In my second pregnancy, I added a calcium supplement and if I ever had leg
cramps I increased my supplement and the cramps were relieved.  Baby #2
nursed much more at night than Baby#1 and for a much longer time and had
perfect teeth.

I recommend calcium/magnesium supplements to a mother who is nursing through
a pregnancy, as a precaution.

On the topic of retracted tongue, I have found that cup feeding for a day
has brought the tongue out and down.  The baby "wonders" what she was doing
that made the breast go away and tries new ways when she returns to the
breast.  (Now this last part is a touch of projection.)  I know you said she
wasn't interested in alternative feeding methods, but persistent pain can
spark interest in something once rejected. You might present it again.

Pat Gima, IBCLC