Here goes "true confessions" again:

Please let's not make a mom whose baby weans or at least reduces his feeds at 11
months feel like a failure.  It is true that children on the average wean
naturally at a much later age, but just as there is a "tail" to the bell-shaped
curve that allows us to accept weaning at ages 4 through 8, can't we also accept
that there will be some at the shorter end, also?

Perhaps it was due to the fact he was my first, but yes, I did start Larry on
his first foods at 6 months - and he slowly increased his food and without my
realizing it he also slowly reduced his breastfeedings until at that age he was
only nursing once a day at 4:00 am - for a nice, long "snooze and nurse".    He
drank nothing else all day long.   But - he was also the one who walked at 8 1/2
months and never sat for a meal - I would set food out on the  large
granite-topped octagonal (this was the 1970's folks!) table and he would "graze"
during the day.  Sitting was unheard of for him!  In fact, once when I saw him
laying down I picked up the phone and called the doc for an immediate
appointment without even touching him!  I knew he had to be sick - which he was,
with a raging ear infection.  This was his first and last illness until chicken
pox 3 years later.  He was the one that even as an infant I used to cry:
"didn't you read the book that says that babies are supposed to sleep 12 to 16
hours a day - I need more than 6 hours' sleep!"

In other words, some children are at one end of the spectrum and others at the
other.  Please let's not "blame" the mother for "forcing" or even "encouraging"
her baby to wean.  My second son, Alex,  would no more have given up his 5 - 10
times a day nursing at that same age even while eating everything under the sun!
He required twice daily naps or he was insufferable.  And even after he went to
school he'd come home and sleep for a few hours before being able to continue
the day.    (Isn't it wonderful to have more than one child - just when you
think you know "everything" #2 comes along and proves you wrong!)

So, if it's a problem of a baby who is "refusing"  the breast or having
nutritional problems, and the mom comes to see us, we should try to help - but
sometimes it's not really a problem and we need to be able to recognize when the
problem is actually our expectations of what should be normal...

Just had a mom come to me with the healthiest 14 pound 3 month old I've seen in
a long time.  She assured me he receives only breast milk but she was sure
something was wrong as he only stays at the breast for 2 - 3 minutes, 8 - 12
times a day, and her breasts are always soft, never feel full.  Plenty of wet
diapers  - stools anything from 5 a day to one every 3 days (but then they were
profuse).  Well, we used the Baby Weigh and watched this child nurse.  He had
just eaten less than an hour before, and was very distracted by my presence, but
in 1 1/2 minutes (I timed with my watch to see if mom was exaggerating) he took
in over 40cc of breast milk.  He actually looked like he was vacuuming her
breast dry.  He then stopped, looked around burped and let out some milk, and
smiled and played.  Not the least bit interested in going back to the breast.
Is there something wrong here?  I think not.  He's an efficient nurser (to the
n'th degree) Mom has a fast let-down (which she doesn't feel) and baby is
growing and developing well.  Am I missing something (other than the fact that
mom is missing out on the lovely realaxed nursings I used to love)?

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, LLLL, IBCLC, RN
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