Dear Lisa,
On Thu, 25 Apr 1996 11:13:41 -0400 you wrote:
>>I recently took a part-time position coordinating prenatal education for a
local hospital where I have been teaching.<<

My heart goes out to you in reference to the meeting and the things you heard
expressed by staff!  But you've already taken a major step (thought it may not
feel like one) just by being open to hearing what they have to say.  Sometimes
the simple act of showing interest in how they feel, what they experience,
what their concerns or problems are, is all that's needed to BEGIN to turn
things around.  Do you teach any/all of the classes there?  Or just coordinate
the teaching which is done by other instructors?

>>the dads can be very zealous in refusing drugs until it reaches a point of
such misery that even they are begging for c-sections for their wives. (huh?)
I felt very put on the defensive.  We have wonderful CB instructors who work
hard to equip these parents with all the necessary skills, but who are not
projecting zealots.<<

Are they talking about a just a few dads who left such a big impression that
the staff has generalized this into thinking ALL dads, or MOST dads respond
this way?  Sounds like they're taking their anger at the dads out on those
childbirth educators.  We can't change basic personality types, all we can do
is educate - so there will always be a few zealots that we'll be blamed for,
when the zealotry isn't due to anything we ever said or did.

Just wondering (1) whether it might be helpful to suggest that the nursing
staff observe a series of childbirth education classes to see what we are
REALLY saying to classes.....Yes, I know there could be complaints about
having to do this, but they could use this first hand experience to deal
directly with the few zealot dads and they'd gain better insights into what
cbe classes really are.  Or (2) whether a program could be set up for the
childbirth educators to spend a few days observing in L & D, if they don't
already do that.  This could demonstrate to nursing staff that cbe's are open
to learning and gaining experience, and seeing firsthand the "results" of
their teachings, and that we're open to learning.  On a one-to-one, nurses and
childbirth educators might be able to see each other as people, and knock down
some of barriers so the relationship is seen as less adversarial and more that
of colleagues. Who benefits?  Everyone, including most importantly, the
expectant parents!!!

>>I was stymied to defend the teachers other than to say...<<
Umm.....one thing I've learned is that when I'm frustrated by trying to defend
something, it helps me to realize I don't have to defend just because I'm
being attacked.  The attackers often don't really want to hear a defense, they
may just want to express their own frustrations.  Maybe having the childbirth
educators meet jointly with the staff - to give everyone an open opportunity
to share their joint frustrations - might leave all realizing "WE'RE ALL IN
THIS TOGETHER" and asking "HOW CAN WE WORK TOGETHER TO IMPROVE THINGS?"  It
might take some planning though...perhaps a preliminary meeting of the cbe's
alone....to plan how best to create a "working together atmosphere".  I'm
concerned that this could be a great opportunity for establishing a really
good working relationship, or it could backfire if it disintegrates into
attacks and defenses....
Any other thoughts from anyone?

Keep me posted.  I'll be thinking about you!
Joyce Blangiardo RN, FACCE, IBCLC