A. Eagles (I'm sorry I don't know your first name) expressed frustration over
helping a mother who is pumping and giving bottles of EBM and ABM because of
cracked and bleeding nipples.  You mentioned the problem of giving
information without making the mother feel guilty.  One very neutral way of
giving her information is to send it to her in printed form.  That way it is
not coming directly from your mouth, but from a third party.  (Some of the
following LLL information sheets might be helpful: "Sore Nipples" No. 28a,
"NIPPLE CONFUSION: Overcoming and Avoiding this Problem" No. 32,  "Increasing
Your Milk" No. 85, and "Positioning Your Baby at the Breast" No. 107.)
 Working on the assumption that every mother does the best she can for her
baby with the information she has at the time, there is no reason for her to
feel guilty.  When she made the choices she did, she was doing the best she
could under the circumstances.  I think that to withold information, for fear
of instilling guilt would be a disservice to the mother.  I agree however
that this is very frustrating, especially if she is not actually ASKING for
the information she needs.  Sometimes our role is to help the mother make
peace with herself... and then to step back and make peace with ourselves.

I'm considering writing a book entitled "Breastfeeding Advocacy Without
Guilt"!

Lesley Robinson, IBCLC, LLL Leader
Corning, NY