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Date: | Wed, 20 Dec 1995 09:24:05 -0500 |
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Hi all,
I need to whine, so if you aren't interested, skip down to the next post.
Had a bf class last night. 5 couples registered; 3 couples and 1 mom without
husband showed up. One dad complained about coming, and didn't want to be
there -- it was "embarassing" to talk about bf, though he willingly attended
Lamaze classes for 6 weeks with his wife where they talk about vaginas and
pushing. Go figure. The dad who didn't come was (by his wife's account)
relieved to have an excuse not to be there -- he was in Orlando on a business
trip. One dad was very enthusiastic, asked all sorts of good questions, but
his wife doesn't want to bf. "I can't imagine having a baby attached to me
all the time." By the end of class she still didn't want to bf. Another mom
was going to bf only because "I heard it helped endometriosis." None were
really enthusiastic about the process. None very enthusiastic about having a
baby (it seemed to me, but by this time I was a bit jaded).
These are all WASP/Cish, college educated, middle to upper-middle class
couples. My sense after leaving the class was that all of them were thinking
about bf because it was the pc thing to do; not because they wanted to, or
because they were excited about the closeness bf would bring them.
Has it been too long since I had my first baby? Have I forgotten? Am I
burned out, frustrated, annoyed? How do we teach mothers to not be afraid to
love, cuddle, hold, and otherwise immerse themselves in the pleasure of
having a baby? Going back to work was a major theme. Pumping at work was
seen as a royal pain. ARGHH. Maybe it is time for a break.
Jan B., who needed someone enthusiastic about babies and bf last night and
didn't get anyone.
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