This morning I attended the wedding of LC Linda Smith's daughter and her
fiance (now husband). Several LCs known to various and sundry Lactnetters
were seen wiping a tear or two from their eyes during the unique and poignant
ceremony--including Queen Martha B., the Lactnet Master of Minutiae. However
an incident occurred during the reception which made me wonder if poor Martha
has been working a bit too hard of late.
   It happened after a champagne toast, which Martha was observed partaking
of. Moments later she sat down to enjoy her lunch and began to watch the
woman across the table interact with her 10-month-old granddaughter. The baby
was an active handful who kept grabbing for a fistful of grandma's
colorfully-beaded vest.
    Martha said, "My, what a stimulating breast...uh, uh... stimulating vest
you've got there."
   There was a collective indrawing of breath, followed by a pregnant pause
during which it looked as if everyone's eyes were about to pop out of their
heads. All at once the table erupted into fits of hysterical laughter (while
Martha's face turned the color of her hot pink turtleneck), and a wise person
suggested, "Hey, I think Martha needs some more champagne."
   Could a better Freudian slip have slid from the lips of a lactation
consultant? Does Martha need to take some time off and rest in the shade a
spell? Stay tuned...
   (Incident printed here with Martha's permission. Well, sort of...) KarenKG