Hello,
I just have to jump into this. I basicly agree with everything Melissa has
said on this. I think mothers should respond to their children. On the other
hand I have known a few people who have used Ferber's method and were pleased
and did not feel like they were abusing their children. One thing Ferber says
is to ask yourself how long you can listen to your child cry and use that
time as the starting point. A mother I know from our LLL group said "one
minute." She also had feelings that her child was really ready to sleep
longer and he wasn't an infant. I think he was 2 at the time. She felt the
method really helped and with little stress to anyone. BUT should we
recommend this to every mother? If a mother starts out with good attachment
style parenting and really knows her child, she may be able to use a
technique such as this in a loving way. I am worried about a parent using
this on a baby too young or not ready or not tempermentally suited to
sleeping alone or long. I also agree we emphasize independence too much in
this culture. I am much more comfortable recommending the Sears's books on
attachment style parenting.
Was that a soapbox?
Marilee Woodworth, IBCLC, LLL, Ann Arbor, Michigan