For Janet in Sacramento with the nursing one year old:
Check with your local La Leche League for the wonderful book, "Mothering
Your Nursing Toddler" by Norma Jane Bumgarner.  It's a great resource,
written in a caring, understanding style.  Any LLL group library will have
a copy, or you can order your own ($8.95 paperback) from LLL.  It's the
kind of book you want to have close by and reread many times and share with
others. It answers lots of the questions you raise.
I think you will find that nursing toddlers bring many new delights and
some new challenges to the breastfeeding relationship.  Many LLL groups
have special, periodic "toddler" meetings to share experiences unique to
nursing after infancy.  You'll also find there other mothers who share your
values, and maybe end up with longterm friendships for both your toddler
and yourself. Good luck and happy nursing!
Anne Altshuler, RN, MS, IBCLC, LLL Leader in Madison, WI