My inexpert opinion is that a more important issue here would be how a 19-month-old would cope with being separated from his/her primary caregiver for that length of time. Obviously a great deal depends on the relationship the child already has with his/her father, but even if the child knows the father well then it's likely to be a very distressing experience to spend that long away from Mummy with inevitably very limited understanding of when Mummy will be back. I would put a lot more emphasis on that, rather than on the breastfeeding.

(Another thought springing to mind there - is the father asking for this long a period because he's planning a holiday with the child? If so, then although that's almost certainly a well-meant thought, it could mean even more distress for the child in being out of his/her familiar environment.)

At the same time, the other side of that coin is that it is extremely important to children to maintain a relationship with both parents, and it would be well worth the mother being proactive in looking at ways of encouraging and maximising contact without it involving such a lengthy separation; would it be possible to go for more frequent shorter contacts rather than one of that duration? As well as being in the child's interest, that would also be good strategy; refusing a request does look better when the refuser is clearly making active attempts to accommodate the requester in other ways. 

BTW, worth pointing out that she's not unreasonable for *feeling* the way she feels - people feel what they feel, and it isn't unreasonable to feel something. What may be unreasonable is what you do to act on that feeling.

Best wishes,

Dr Sarah Vaughan
MBChB MRCGP

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