Dear Lactnet Friends:
Thank you Sarah Vaughan for that most interesting facet of relationship. I
wonder if those infants that weren't talked to directly, were carried
constantly.
I was talking specifically about the Magical Hour, that unique time for
relationship to start. All mother mammals (save humans) routinely devote
all their attention to their newborns after delivery; they eat the
placentas, lick their babies, and make the breast available.
Humans have made this first hour a complicated event, made even more
challenging by the presence of so many strangers at birth.
When the mother is paying more attention to the device than to the newborn,
or to her premie in NICU, this is a change in behavior that I imagine will
have impact on relationship. We really don't know because it is a giant
living experiment.
Most of the teaching I do is to healthcare professionals; in some US
hospitals, visitors run nearly wild in the maternity unit. As US hospitals
in my City have their reimbursements tied to patient satisfaction scores,
nurses often have their hands tied when they offer care or teaching. A
nurse who receives a poor grade satisfaction will usually be reprimanded by
her supervisor; there never seems to be any thought about supporting the
healthcare professional who is legally liable for the care and teaching
that has to be given.
I heard of one story where the grandmother filmed an premie's resuscitation
in the NICU, very impressed with the real life TV event. Staff were too
busy in the moment to do anything.
I drove home one day, and came upon this scene: a car stopped in an
intersection, obviously (by the skid marks) having jammed on its brakes; an
overturned stroller with a screaming infant in it; 4 adults present on the
scene. What were all the adults doing?
They were all texting. Not one person moved to right the stroller and
comfort the baby. When I rolled down my window and asked, "Isn't anyone
going to get that baby?", one woman replied, "That baby is fine!" I
retorted, "No, that baby is NOT fine." Someone did finally go and right the
stroller, where a strapped-in infant of about 3 months of age was
squalling, purple-faced. Not one adult moved to provide comfort; they were
all on their devices.
There are signs in my local post office, asking patrons to get off their
devices when being served.
I had a participant in a class answer her phone and start talking, in the
middle of the class! When I objected, she snapped at me "I'm on the phone"
and I said, "Yes you are; please do that outside." She flounced out of the
room, annoyed with me.
I am seeing courtesy become a ancient practice because folks are on their
devices.
I am sad and worried about this.
warmly,
--
Nikki Lee RN, BSN, Mother of 2, MS, IBCLC, CCE, CIMI, ANLC, CKC
Author:* Complementary and Alternative Medicine in Breastfeeding Therapy*
www.nikkileehealth.com
https://www.facebook.com/nikkileehealth
*Get my FREE webinar series*
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