I've had a hiatus of some days without reading LN and just came across this
alarming thread.

Kristi, I am with (physician) Lara Hopkins on this one.  I don't envy you,
and I don't think the baby is safe.  I liked part of the advice from the
peds practice you contacted, but in my jurisdiction (another country with a
different health care delivery system) they would be accomplices to
possible criminal neglect with their response. The part I liked was
"As the only professional she has invited in, the doctor suggested I be as
kind and supportive as possible without condemning any of the behaviors."
I liked that the doctor seems to be concerned with keeping a respectful
dialogue - but I don't like that they are passing the buck right back to
you.  Here, a pediatrician who had heard of such a case would be just as
liable as you are for this baby's safety.  It sounds like they are not
cognizant of the nutritional needs of the baby, if they don't feel baby is
in danger now.  Of course I am assuming you have documented your
conversation with the pediatrician, because you may need documentation that
you were concerned enough to be taking steps, when the manure hits the
ventilator.

The other thing, which it pains me to mention, is that if you have shared
enough information that the family could be identified through your posts
to Lactnet, you could also be risking serious professional criticism for
violation of confidentiality, so I would caution you to stop posting
updates to the list on what is happening in the case - we will be more than
satisfied to hear from you that 'Things are being resolved'
or something along those lines.

If you lived where I do, you would be at risk of losing your own license to
practice if you did not inform the appropriate authorities (child
protection) - at least if you had voiced your concerns for the child's
immediate safety to the parents and they had not changed their behavior.
So, how to be kind and supportive while saying 'What you are doing may kill
your baby' ??  Maybe the pediatrician you talked with has some helpful
suggestions there :-P

From your first post, it seems the nanny is preparing the formula. If she
is doing so at the parents' bidding, perhaps she is worried about the baby
too and trying to stay involved to protect the baby. If it's her idea, she
needs to be reported, and fast.

It's really scary to me when the mother of a newborn says her baby doesn't
'like' her. The family needs help, mother and baby are both hurting, but
the baby, who has no way out on its own, stands to be harmed the most.

Rachel Myr
Kristiansand, Norway

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