Elizabeth writes:
I suppose I need to remember that what's posted here isn't necessarily
what a client hears.
~~~ Hello Wise and Compassionate ones.
I think Elizabeth makes an excellent point. LN has been for me, not just a
place to listen and learn, but a place to lament, to vent, and to ask the
hard questions and share emotionally challenging responses. I would venture
to speculate that even if a poster is expressing something that seems like
a judgment, it is because this has been considered a safe place, and for
some one of the only places, to share the feelings around that
statement/judgment. It is not something that would be said to a mother who just wants an
answer to her question. We know that the counseling part of this work is
key, meeting a mother where she is, asking questions and being willing to
hear her answers, and the questions and answers beneath them, assisting her
with information about factors she may not have known or considered
regarding her choices. Most of us have worked with, counseled, moms who will at
some points do something radically different than we did as mothers, or even
something that might have severe, irreversible or unintended consequences.
We have all walked that line, needing to give the best information we can,
while supporting a mother in her goals, in the choices she is making,
whether we would make them, or whether we even see them as being feasible( mom
wants to build her supply toward normal but doesn't want to pump at all, or
to put baby to breast, but will drink galactogogic tea ...). We will
support and work with whatever effort a mom can make at the time. Sometimes that
is exceptionally difficult. I think that's why we see so much passion on
LN, because this is one place we can show it. This is one reason I think we
are asked never to forward a post without the permission of the poster.
Even if we would give the exact same information, we would probably give it
much differently, in tone, in form, in breadth, in depth, and totally
individualized as we can make it.Lactnet is one place we can be honest, we can
support and challenge each other respectfully, and we can be as passionate as
we are, because so much of our work requires a deep level of moderation to
remain as calm, compassionate and as capable of helping mothers, as this
work demands. And we are not, despite the shared commitment to this work,
monolithic in our approach and values and beliefs, about infant
feeding/nurturing, or any other aspect of life that comes into contact with that work.
We have different backgrounds, styles of communication, boundaries, and
triggers. I think that has always been one of the beauties of this "place."
The safety of the shared parts makes possible the challenge of the
differences. It's kind of amazing, actually.
Peace,
Judy
Judy LeVan Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY, USA
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