Ellen writes:

My  husband brought home the current Harper's with this article, based on 
(or  excerpted from) the book "The Conflict:  How Modern Motherhood 
Undermines  the Status of Women" by Elisabeth Badinter.  I tried to be objective  
while scanning it the first time, but it is upsetting (really, just the  
premise is upsetting).  I did not like it, and I suspect that most of you  will 
not like (or agree) with it, but it is definitely worth a read, as we  will be 
hearing about it again.
~~~
Ellen and all,
 
I heard about this article from someone I know in another venue of my life, 
 who is single and childless. Although I value other people's opinions, I 
haven't  read it. I decided that at this point my heart has been attacked for 
so many  years,  as a LLLLeader and an IBCLC and advocate for 
maternal/child health  and wellbeing, that I will not read this stuff alone anymore. If 
anyone in my  area wants to get together and discuss it, I would try. 
This is the email I sent to my friend after she mentioned the  article...
"It's so sad that a normal woman's biological behavior has become  fraught 
with so much negative emotions.  ( Then again, there are women who  believe 
that all sexual behavior between women and men is a form of oppression  and 
should be avoided, so there are precedents of sorts. )This kind of writing  
also spends a lot of energy dividing women, making all women less able to 
get  the support they need in their role as mothers, whatever specifics they 
embrace.  Also we  live in a culture which gives the whole issue a sort of 
lip  service, but very little actual support, societally speaking. Stating 
facts  about the differences in health outcome for both mothers and babies when 
babies  breastfeed or not, is considered fair game for abuse and 
name-calling. It  actually feels painful and quite mortifiying to be called a 
Breastfeeding Nazi,  but there is never any outrage about that kind of abuse. For 
some reason it is  tolerated, and published in otherwise well-written 
magazines and newspapers, and  I've heard it on TV as well. It's not the first time, 
it's actually been  happening for years, but it won't be the last. I think 
women should be angry  about the lack of support and correct information 
they receive in this culture,  I just wish they would use it to build up rather 
than tear down, other women. " 
 
In her position as loving, older, single aunt, my friend may have less  
negativity than some other women, lacking any intimate personal experience, and 
 is also in a position to learn so she can support her nieces if they 
become  mothers at some point. I can't imagine the pain a woman is going through 
when  she writes something like this ( working from the theory that pain 
often becomes  anger). But I do know how it feels to be attacked over and over 
again by this  kind of writing and communicating. It's good to know when 
articles like this get  published, if only to be aware that issues might arise 
from it. Ellen, you  are a stronger person than I am for reading it and I 
thank you.

Peace,
Judy  

Judy LeVan  Fram, PT, IBCLC, LLLL
Brooklyn, NY,  USA
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