Great comments Susan!  Nursing 4x a day is not what I normally see in a baby this age either (4 of my own, 2 grandchildren, LLLL since 1985), though there are many persons who will try to convince a mother that this is plenty! (There are even books out there that suggest that a 3 month old can get by nursing 4-6 times a day and sleep for 10 hours a night with 3 naps a day - if the parents understand that it is the parent's job to be in control of the feeding). 

It may be worth checking into what the mother has been reading regarding child raising. The new WAB is a great resource and may give the mother the support she needs a) to know she is not alone in feeling the way she does and b) to help make a shift away from weaning if she desires to continue the breastfeeding relationship. 

"Her daughter is only nursing 4x/day or so because the mother works full-time and provides milk for daycare.  If the mother sees her daughter midday at daycare the daughter is not interested in nursing, but rather "hanging out" and playing.  The mother is fearful this behavior is early signs of weaning.  I have assured her it is not and is a normal progression.  The mother states she is sad that her daughter does not want to nurse at lunch time."  

regarding timing of mom stopping by daycare - if baby is full, having just eaten a meal or drunk her milk, she may also show no interest in nursing when mom arrives.   Don't know if this applies, but certainly, if the mother comes occasionally  into the daycare, she may want to give the care givers a couple of hours heads up with her eta and instruct them to give the baby only enough milk or a small snack to tide her over if absolutely necessary, but not enough to fill her up.

Drawing from personal experience, when our granddaughter has any milk within 1/2 hr of my daughter coming home, Olivia will often play for 15 or 20 minutes before she realizes how much she wants her momma and then she just about launches herself into my daughter's arms. Timing is so important and we were given strict instructions (thanks to a certain grandmother being in the lactation field) to hold off giving Olivia a feeding right before Mama's arrival. Sometimes, however, she gets off work early unexpectedly, Olivia has just fed and my daughter fully expects that her babe will be less likely to want to nurse at that point. They will then read stories or play for a while.. though, at this age, it is a guarantee that if my daughter opens her lap top, Olivia will be on her like mud on a gumboot.

Page 177 of the latest edition of the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding has information about: 

"negotiated nursings ("you'll have to persuade me that your really need to nurse") and "contract nursings ("the clock says it isn't time yet") --- both recipes for a faltering milk supply or premature weaning."  

This behavior is, further on the page, likened to a lunch counter where "you're always quizzed as to why you want to eat or why you want, say, a hamburger instead of a veggie burger.  You put up with it because the food is really good and it's the only place you can eat lunch. But then one day they expand the cafeteria and put in a second counter. At the other counter, you asked for food and you get all you want, with a smile, no questions asked. Which counter would you go to?"  

this page ends with this sentence regarding the nursing relationship "Make yours the lunch counter with the welcoming smile."

these kinds of negotiating and contracting are not so hard to slip into, especially when there are others influencing the relationship and making comments like "she can't be hungry again... she's 9 months old.." or "my baby takes a pacifier instead of nursing to sleep" or " isn't it time she started to wean?" and the good old "don't let your baby tell you when she is hungry" can all have insidious and negative effects on how a mother responds to her baby asking to breastfeed. Getting back into some breastfeeding encouraging habits may be of use to this mom as Susan described and as are also described on pg 177 in the WAB.

uppitysciencechick.com has some great resources for ppd and anxiety as well.  According to one of the articles, yoga is extremely effective in reducing anxiety and might be something this mom can incorporate into her daily routine.  (I have no affiliation with this website - though I do send a lot of women there!)

on a lighter note -  at least 2 of my toddlers had nursing buddies almost the same age at LLL meetings when I was a Leader Applicant and then a Leader. As soon as one toddler began nursing, the other toddler would run up to their mother and ask to nurse. We would chuckle about the benefits of this kind of peer pressure. Lately, our Olivia, who's moms hosts our LLL meetings, does the same thing.. as soon as one of the babies starts nursing (there are a few between the ages of 8 months and 14 months) she and her pals are all at it! It then becomes very very quiet in the room!


Good luck to your friend! :>)

Celina D, IBCLC, LLLL

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome