Subject: | |
From: | |
Reply To: | |
Date: | Sun, 13 May 2012 11:35:41 +0100 |
Content-Type: | text/plain |
Parts/Attachments: |
|
|
On 13/05/2012 02:17, Maria Paciullo wrote:
> I do like the term normal breastfeeding rather than extended. Maybe we need to stop worrying about making moms feel guilty if it means lying to them. Extended breastfeeding is really normal breastfeeding, and if moms know that they might start feeling cheated and feeling angry at the healthcare providers and family members and……who interfered with their ability or desire to breastfeed for as long as they would have liked. Formula companies try to the use the "don't make mothers feel guilty" argument, and it is just a way for them to keep on doing what they are doing while dumping all of the responsibility on the mothers.
>
Guilt isn't the emotion I was concerned about. I'm concerned about
anger, alienation, and pressure.
When we use the term 'normal-term breastfeeding', with its implication
that breastfeeding for less than that length of time is somehow abnormal
or insufficient (not to mention its implication that there even is a
'normal' for something that's so hugely variable and individual, or that
there's a particular duration we *should* be aiming at, but let's set
that aside for the moment) then the effect is to frame the discussion in
terms of "My way is right, and your way is not good enough." This is
not conducive to reaching people or winning them over. It doesn't make
others feel 'guilty' - it makes them angry and alienated. It fuels the
Mommy Wars and creates an artificial and unnecessary division between
lactivists and those they wish to win over.
There is also a risk of making women feel pressured into nursing their
children for longer than they would otherwise have wished to do,
something I do not consider any more acceptable than the far more common
pressure in the other direction. Not everyone who weans before the
lactivist-approved age is a frustrated would-be-long-term-breastfeeder
hoping for rescue from society's mores - many women either want to wean
at the stage they do, or simply, for various reasons find it the most
practical thing to do. I do not feel it to be in any way helpful or
appropriate to push them towards a different decision.
I would also strongly question whether it is appropriate to describe the
term extended breastfeeding as 'lying' to women, when there are such a
range of different weaning ages and when 'extended' reflects the
sociocultural reality of most of the women we see. We may of course
choose not to *reinforce* that sociocultural reality by continued use of
the term, and it may be inappropriate for that reason, or for the reason
that it can be insensitive to women who feel alone in wishing to nurse
for longer. But that's not the same as labelling it dishonest, which is
another concept entirely.
Best wishes,
Dr Sarah Vaughan
MBChB MRCGP
***********************************************
Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome
|
|
|