Good morning list mates.
Jeanette writes:
"When will those who see mothers in the early postpartum period learn that
at this sensitive time, how we phrase things gets "imprinted" in these
moms? "Watch Your Language" does not only mean watching how we "sell"
breastfeeding - but also how we protect the mother's emotional and psychological
strength as she develops a new skill through the tempest of hormones and
exhaustion faced during their first few weeks of motherhood."
Very good points made. Two things came to mind while reading this. One is
that I often hear nurses and even a LC say "that baby is just so oral,
wants to suck all the time, just wants a fast flow and her milk isn't in yet."
Of course this information is processed negatively by the mother and she
begins to doubt her abilities to nurse and make enough milk, and thinks that
there is something wrong with her anatomy or that the baby is demanding and
is abnormally oral. Try as I can, I cannot get across to certain staff that
if the baby is not satisfied, and mother's nipples are getting beat up,
then he probably is not getting enough because of shallow latching/poor
positioning/breast edema. Educating staff as to why there is not supposed to be
a "fast" flow at the beginning seems not to make much of a difference.
Pacifiers are encouraged and frequently given out early, and then the slippery
slope downhill begins.
The other thought that came to me is: Why do women seem to be so much more
fragile emotionally and psychologically after birth these days? I do
believe they are. But aren't the "tempest of hormones and exhaustion" a normal
part of women's adjustment to motherhood, and something we all faced after
giving birth? Maybe our birthing circles of days long past (39-28 years ago
in my case) were made up of women who could complain to one another without
feeling shame or feeling abnormal--it was just so normal to feel this way,
and share it with our friends. I'm not sure that the modern woman feels
that this is a normal part of becoming a mother.
I sometimes wonder if the pain-killing drugs a woman receives routinely to
help them through the very medicalized births of today, somehow blunt her
own natural coping abilities. And when she is trying to establish successful
breastfeeding, and the littlest wrinkle or kink or bump in the road
occurs, she has nothing in her system to help her stay calm and work through it.
Perhaps if we focused more on helping women to identify what they feel the
problem is, and help them to come up with a solution, instead of us
"fixing" the problem and getting the baby latched, we then might empower women to
use the tools that they already have. Hopefully, they will be able to
access the positive and strong natures that are there under the surface. I try
to remind mothers that nurses and LCs may be able to "get a baby latched,"
but the mother and baby still have to learn how to work together and how
important it is that mother begin to understand what the baby is trying to
communicate to her. Best learned, of course, by spending lots of time with
your baby from the get-go, which would be a huge paradigm shift where I work.
Of course, there is never a "one size fits all" solution to anything,
especially in any particular breastfeeding experience. And maybe there are just
some mothers who really do not want to nurse, but feel that they should due
to the pressure of others; these mothers may resist our efforts to help
them to understand that there is a reason behind the baby's behavior. When a
mother understands the possible reason(s), she has a wealth of information
to help her come up with the actions which will lead to breastfeeding
success.
Mary-Jane Sackett, RN, IBCLC
Pittsfield, MA
The Berkshire Hills of western Massachusetts
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