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Date: | Thu, 27 Oct 2011 16:39:38 +0200 |
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This came up for discussion on Lactnet last week - I am away from
home so just catching up now.
The blog - here: http://www.fearlessformulafeeder.com - is worth
reading. Frequently, the blogger and the women who comment tell us
what it *feels* like not to breastfeed. Often, it is painful reading
for us, because of the myths and misunderstandings that become
evident.
Yes, of course it shows us how badly breastfeeding is supported in
many parts of the West - it's US based, but a lot of what she says
applies to the UK as well, though I see her current guide to safe
formula preparation is absolutely not what UK guidance asks for (and
she has not acknowledged that it's the *formula* not the water that
has the major bugs in it...I suspect she does not know). The
limitations of the public health message are obvious - ff women
hear it as ' you are a bad mother for not breastfeeding'.
The tortured defensiveness expressed by many formula feeders is an
expression of their pain and grief. I think it is pretty rare for
formula feeders to be discriminated against, publicly reviled,
accused of exhibitionism etc etc - and the criticism they feel is all
around them may be largely in their heads. But in their heads or
not, it certainly feels *real*, and the emphasis on health 'benefits'
of breastfeeding translates very personally indeed to indivdual
mothers.
So what do we do? My own organiation tries very hard to make sure
that formula feeders' 'bad feelings' are not added to, and we try to
ensure mothers who formula feed (for whatever reason) understand the
fundamental needs *all* babies have to be responded to, to have their
feeding 'cues' acted upon, to be fed as part of a loving relationship
and not as merely a means of fuelling growth or transmitting
calories.....so that formula feeding can be done in all the ways that
are integral to happy breastfeeding.
Being sensitive to the needs of ff mothers is to be sensitive to the
needs of babies - and accepting mothers' needs rather than just being
horrified at their lack of understanding will, I think, ultimately
mean more mothers and babies breastfeed and for longer :)
Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
--
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk
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