It is frustrating when mom is not receptive to the things we "know" would go a 
long way to helping.  It's that old adage about "leading a horse to water".  Our 
job is to give her the information to make an informed choice, but in the end, 
she chooses, we can't insist she do things "our way" even when we are certain 
that things would go so much beter for her and baby if she was open to our 
suggestions.  

One thing stood out to me - this mom is not comfortable with close contact.  She 
didn't want to hold baby initially until it was clean and swaddled and declined 
"laid back" position.  Is there any possibility she would be open to holding 
baby skin-to-skin without pushing feeding (let baby do that)?  Perhaps you could 
suggest that it would help her catch the early feeding cues so she can get in 
the increased nursings you recommend.  Of course, since this is her 4th, she is 
probably quite busy meeting the needs of the other children (I don't think you 
mentioned their ages) which might be limiting time available for one-on-one with 
baby.  Can you come up with ways to demonstrate to her how her finger position 
is making it harder for baby?  A couple that come to mind: ask her to drink from 
a glass while you hold close to the rim with your fingers like a scissors hold 
on the breast.  Do the same with something like a cookie so she can only get a 
small nibble instead of a bite of the cookie.
Winnie Mading

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome