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Date: | Wed, 9 Jun 2010 15:26:46 +0100 |
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Julia writes:
> Because a lot of LCs use guilt as a weapon which is not okay. One
>of the biggest parts of our jobs is hand holding; we are there to
>support and encourage and we need to work on this. On many occasions
>I have heard well meaning LCs use sarcasm, fear, and even laugh at
>mothers who were using ABM...talk about setting a mother up for
>failure. She is already having troubles and we laugh at her?
I can honestly say I have not witnessed this - not from trained
breastfeeding supporters of any kind, ever. I have heard of these
things happening to mothers and they say their midwife or HV has
acted like this, or very occasionally, I have it reported to me that
someone in my own organisation has behaved like this. There is no
excuse for it. It is just wrong with a capital 'W'.
Mothers sometimes *think* they have been criticised or been treated
badly, sometimes by other mothers. Mothers have told me 'I took the
bottle out and all the mothers gave me a really dirty look' or
'someone asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding and I just knew she
thought I was a terrible mother'.
I am not saying that bad things don't happen, but the sensitivity of
the formula feeding mother heightens her awareness and makes her see
criticism and judgement where it may not be.
We have to be equally sensitive, and aware that someone may be
grieving - she may even be grieving and not know she is (in fact, she
is very likely not to know). Just as we would be sensitive with
anyone who was grieving....I find it horrifying that Julia's
witnessed sarcasm and so on on many occasions. How can the people who
do this be 'well-meaning'?
Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
--
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk
http://heatherwelford.posterous.com
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