Dear all, 
 
I really love this discussion. I am now excited to see this doctor again and
have another conversation!
 
Micaela wrote:
 
<Have you asked if his wife breastfed and how he felt?
Perhaps his observations are not on patients but on his own family, and
that can lead to much more strong opinions....>
 
Dear Micaela,
I have asked him about his own family and they have not had the chance to
breastfeed beyond one year. The first babies were twin and mom was not able
to breastfeed exclusively (no comment) and the second baby was breastfed for
8 months. 
 
Marike wrote: 
<What are your needs? What do you want?
What are the needs of this doctor? What is he wanting?>
 
Dear Marijke, 
What I want is to be able to convince this doctor that breastfeeding is the
normal thing to do whether before or after one year. I want to convince
*this* doctor because he is a specimen of many other doctors who mess around
with mothers' minds "instructing" them that now is the time to stop
breastfeeding. This doctor is actually also a university instructor as well
as a family doctor, he also has a say in what goes into a curriculum and
what does not and I am hoping this will be an opportunity for me to possibly
have an impact on other graduate doctors. I know I am being too ambitious
and probably betting on something that may not work but at least I am hoping
to learn something from this experience that can get me to the next level of
having an impact. 
 
 
Leigh Anne wrote: 
 
<I can't wait to hear in a couple of years that this doc may actually
recommend breastfeeding beyond a year!>
 
Dear Leigh Ann, 
It is my hope as well!
 
Heather Welford Neil wrote:
 
<It is possible that he sees families where there is a lack of
maturity and patience - for example, the father may object to the
mother continuing to breastfeed. The mother may choose to put her and
her baby's needs and preferences over and above the father's
objections.  This may lead to the father objecting to the mother
ignoring his wishes. All this will affect the family dynamics the
doctor is concerned with.>
 
Dear Heather, 
Exactly what I think. So the problem is not only that there is lack of
awareness on the importance of breastfeeding amongst the health worker (the
doctor) but also amongst families themselves.
 
 
<In some families, there is a massive amount of pressure put on the
mother not to breastfeed at all or not even beyond the first days and
weeks. The mother is told she is being 'selfish' in not 'sharing' the
baby with others. Families may say they would be delighted to have
the baby stay over-night, if only the baby was not being breastfed. I
have supported  mothers who have been told that if they do not stop
breastfeeding, the family will cut off contact, or where continued
breastfeeding is a source of great tension and argument. The father
of the baby may take sides with the objectors, and not his partner.>
 
Heather, this is so true and so heartbreaking. I have seen this as well in
very close family members and this is when I start ³listing² the benefits of
breastfeeding and I find myself speaking alone!
 
To Robyn: 
Thank you for recommended readings. I will look them up. I have also visited
your website and I love your perseverance and courage.
 
Rosemary: 
I like your analysis and it will surely help me ³level² with this doctor
because he is very much ³reason² oriented.
 
Patricia wrote:
<I find myself talking and asking parents more and more about what they have
seen or know or even can conjecture about other countries...>
 
Dear Patricia, 
I am not sure if this comes as a surprise or not. But this is not an
American doctor (although he has studied in the US) and I am talking about a
situation in Lebanon ­ the Middle East and patients are Lebanese. One more
reason to really feel frustrated that what used to be ³normal² is now
becoming ³a problem² especially in urban areas.
 
 
Rachel Myr worte: 
< but if you have never 'seen' normal family dynamics in the presence of
normal breastfeeding, it's hard to believe it exists.>
 
Dear Rachel, 
That is exactly what I want to show this doctor through my personal
experience and others that I know. He actually challenged me to ask my
husband, once I finish with breastfeeding ­ because now I am too emotionally
involved as he said it ­ to ask him what he felt when he saw me
breastfeeding my child. I can give him the answer now but he will not buy
it! 
 
Thanks again for the wonderful replies!
Linda 
 

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