Julia writes:

>  Because a lot of LCs use guilt as a weapon which is not okay. One 
>of the biggest parts of our jobs is hand holding; we are there to 
>support and encourage and we need to work on this. On many occasions 
>I have heard well meaning LCs use sarcasm, fear, and even laugh at 
>mothers who were using ABM...talk about setting a mother up for 
>failure. She is already having troubles and we laugh at her?


I can honestly say I have not witnessed this - not from trained 
breastfeeding supporters of any kind, ever.  I have heard of these 
things happening to mothers and they say their midwife or HV has 
acted like this, or very occasionally, I have it reported to me that 
someone in my own organisation has behaved like this. There is no 
excuse for it. It is just wrong with a capital 'W'.

Mothers sometimes *think* they have been criticised or been treated 
badly, sometimes by other mothers. Mothers have told me 'I took the 
bottle out and all the mothers gave me a really dirty look' or 
'someone asked me why I wasn't breastfeeding and I just knew she 
thought I was a terrible mother'.

I am not saying that bad things don't happen, but the sensitivity of 
the formula feeding mother heightens her awareness and makes her see 
criticism and judgement where it may not be.

We have to be equally sensitive, and aware that someone may be 
grieving - she may even be grieving and not know she is (in fact, she 
is very likely not to know).  Just as we would be sensitive with 
anyone who was grieving....I find it horrifying that Julia's 
witnessed sarcasm and so on on many occasions. How can the people who 
do this be 'well-meaning'?

Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
-- 
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk

http://heatherwelford.posterous.com

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