Thank you for the article on  the framing of BFing issues, I am very pleased to see someone addressing it in such a constructive way.  I've enjoyed the entire discussion so far and don't have anything to add to the guilt issues.  I agree that if a rapport is developed before the time of need that would go a long way in ameliorating the failure to contact or continue contact when the process is more difficult than expected.  In my area most of the difficult cases are first time contacts and even though the visit seems to go well and the mom appears to regain some hope, most do not return the followup contact (phone & email).  I'm hoping this is because they feel like they now have a handle on it and are just too busy mothering.  In case not, I'm going to ponder these posts and try to see if I can say or do something differently.

The following is off topic and I only send it because I think this is a forum that might relate to the vent.  It was a response to a local "breastfeeding in public" situation that got rather neutral media attention and a lot of vitriolic comments in response.  I never sent it because of the worries involved in being a LLL Leader and making public statements.  I wouldn't have identified myself as such, but it would be easy to find out.  

Jodie
in NH

I'm sure that there are women who like living on the edge and do things
purely for the shock value, there are new moms that aren't yet fluid in the
art of discrete breastfeeding and get caught out & about with baby and
clothing that didn't work as well as they thought it would, there are large
breasted women for whom the whole process requires two hands and more skin
shows, and moms of newborns (who require more care at latch on and thus the
nipple may be exposed for more than two seconds).

In 14 years of association with breastfeeding moms, 8 yrs in a professional
capacity, I have yet to hear of a NH case that involved a woman willfully
looking to provoke a reaction or even unconciously disrobing in order to
nurse.  All the cases involved observers who thought the very idea of
breastfeeding to be distasteful. More often than not the employee involved
was a teen or young adult, who thought they were doing the right thing.
Also more often than not the mother involved was so overcome with shock and
emotion that she either did not react at that moment (deer in the
headlights), complied with the request (seething inside) or over reacted.

Apparently, we as a society agree that human milk is important for the
growth, development and health of human children and their adult selves.  At
least that is the impression given by the AAP, formula ads, parenting
magazines, government websites on maternal & child health and the WIC
department. Unless we intend to put breastfeeding mothers, their infants,
and their infants siblings under house arrest until their youngest is
weaned, then the adult members of our society are going to have to
experience some discomfort until nursing babies seem normal.  This will take
at least a generation if all women felt free to nurse in public and longer
if not.

In reality, it is not practical to ask a mom to throw a blanket over the
baby.  In the early days many need to see baby to keep baby latched
appropriately (avoiding sore nipples) and many older babies won't tolerate
it.  In addition a cover over the baby is an eye magnet, people are much
more likely to notice the nursing mother if she is using such a device than
if she is not.  Of course, if it makes her more comfortable and baby does
tolerate it then fine.

I'll admit that I have not bothered to track down all the current blogs, I
read the posts on the telegraph and mothering last week, I've read lots in
the past.  The vast majority have been hyperbole and vitriol.

People always say oh the mother could do x. y, or Z instead of feeding her
baby (wherever or however she is).  All those supposed options result in an
early weaned babe in all but the most committed mother.  Yes, there are
plenty of committed moms.  Too bad for the rest of the babies and I
absolutely do not blame their mothers.

It is true that both mothers, their children, and business owners are caught
between a rock and a hard place.  I think all the other adults should
realize they are adults and have the option to turn their heads.

It probably sounds like I am angry and I am, but not at you, the mother in
question, the employee, or the owner of xx's.  I am angry at the society
that thinks it's perfectly ok for my children to see blatantly sexual images
during commercials and even programs targeted to tweens (that their younger
siblings also watch), that markets sexualized clothing to little girls, and
that feels free to show horribly violent trailers in between what would
otherwise be a very appropriate show for young people.  Yet, at the same
time can't tolerate a bit of skin if it is not in a sexual context.

On Jun 9, 2010, at 3:21 PM, Amy West wrote:

> I think the discussion of "The Good Mother" and
> is particularly relevant within the context of guilt.  
snip
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