Here I am posting to Lactnet for the second time in a week!  But I 
cannot ignore the reference to this book.

My newest grandchild was born last year and as a "gift" to her 
parents a well-meaning Relative gave them this book.  I was staying 
with them in the early weeks and was interested to see what this 
latest hot sleep book had to say. One sleepless night was made much 
more sleepless by my reading this book from beginning to end.

This latest edition is a "modernized" version of an earlier one 
published in 1999.  The issues addressed in this edition include 
"unrestricted breast-feeding" and its potential cause of sleep 
problems in the infant due to misunderstanding by the 
mother.  "Breastfeeding is great, but..." He even speaks softly about 
shared sleep... but only up to a point.  It is allowed on the way to 
proper isolated sleep (very early) with self-soothing as the 
norm--for happy children.

Another timely issue is attachment parenting.  Not good for babies or 
parents.

I read on and my heart was breaking for all of the children-- and the 
parents who would accept this way of so-called parenting.  BUT the 
clincher was the chapter toward the end of the book with a title that 
meant "annihilation."  That may the be the title or it may be 
something related.  I have forgotten. The point of the chapter was to 
make clear that the goal of parenting is to teach the infant/child 
that he/she is in this world alone and the sooner she learns this the 
happier she will be.  "I am sufficient unto myself."  Dependence on 
parents robs her of a healthy sense of Self and interferes, 
unnecessarily, with the needs of the adults around her.

The more I read the more aggrieved I became knowing that, even though 
the Loving Relative lived far away, this baby would be at risk of 
becoming another detached human.  There are many patterns in the book 
that are set up as "positive" behaviors and examples of a "Happy 
Child."  They are patterns of a detached child.  I knew the new 
parents well enough to believe that some of these would not look 
appealing to them.

These new parents never got to read the book, however, because it got "lost."

I see that our public library has 14 copies and unfortunately most of 
them are checked out.  Apparently this man is on TV shows and takes 
advantage of the current parenting climate to teach his promotion of 
emotionally detached humans. This promotion does much more than 
shorten the duration of breastfeeding, though it surely achieves that.

This is  Dr Emmett Holt, Dr Richard Ferber, et al,  with an updated 
vocabulary. It is a continuation of the "medicalization" of  human being.

Pat Gima






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