Karleen writes:
>There are risks involved for all. But that's life really and it's clearly up
>to individuals to decide what risks they are willing to take and how they
>might manage them.
I agree that the volunteer donors need to know the risks, but it is
not fair to ask an *individual* to manage something upsetting,
threatening, or simply massively inconvenient.
In every context I have worked in (helplines, talkboards) something
of this sort has happened, and there have either been protocols in
place, or else we have had to develop them so they are used the next
time something happens (and it does....). The organisation takes the
burden of managing the risk from the individual, and thus keeps her
and her family safe.
OK, let's spell it out. Yes, I *am* hard bitten by what I have seen
and had to deal with on behalf of others - others who are working as
volunteers, in their own homes, out of kindness and goodwill. They
have to deal with the people who pretend to have a baby (there is no
baby); the people who pretend to be a concerned father (ditto); the
men who pretend to be women (we had a very persistent caller like
this - it was not a woman with an unusually deep voice, believe me);
the person who threatens suicide (that was horrible - it was on a
talkboard); the person who threatens to abandon their baby or to harm
their baby; the men who try to get into a conversation about
breastfeeding older children; the caller who rings someone's home
repeatedly at anti-social times, waking her family; the very abusive
caller; the obscene caller.
Every volunteer who ends up dealing with these situations needs
support and the knowledge that she is protected and that the
organisation she is working for understands what's happening and can
make it stop. Within my own organisation we have instant email
report, and a paid-for manager who is available 24/7 for emergencies,
and volunteer managers who back her up (I am one).
> And of course removal of the
>relational aspect also removes one of the greatest aspects of altruistic
>milk sharing- the relationship that can be created between mothers helping
>one another. This particular aspect is one that has come through again and
>again in stories of wet nursing in emergency situations that have been
>shared with me and I don't think it should be underestimated.
I am all in favour of this. But it takes a lot of hard work to enable
this to happen safely when you are dealing with stranger-to-stranger
contacts, and I don't see this being acknowledged. It's not enough to
set up a website and then place all the responsibility for personal
safety and well-being on volunteers.
I would be happy to learn that this aspect has been addressed - I am
not against the principle at all, though I would not like anything to
happen that was at the expense of free milk banks.
Heather Welford Neil
NCT bfc, tutor, UK
--
http://www.heatherwelford.co.uk
http://heatherwelford.posterous.com
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