WAIT A MINUTE. I did NOT say or imply that moms should always stay home.
Some do and will, others will maintain an active "outside" life even with
small children.

The choice is always up to the mother to balance her "work" life and her
family life. Some children are easier to take - or leave - than others. Some
children (including one of mine) can happily sit through a day-long
conference gazing intently (and quietly) at mom's face. Others (including
one of mine) are active, inquisitive and loud, even as infants, and
therefore are difficult to take anywhere - and equally difficult to leave
with even the most wonderful caretaker (dad, grandma, sitter). 

We moms might want "it all" - yet the nature of a given child may force us
to make hard decisions on what is realistic for everyone involved RIGHT NOW.
The needs of a 4-month old are not the same as the needs of a 14-month old,
a 4-year old, or a 14-year old. Or, for that matter, a 34-year-old spouse or
74-year-old parent. 

I've declined to attend several meetings that I REALLY wanted to attend
because of (1) my own health, (2) a child's health or competing event,
and/or (3) my spouse's health, well-being, or competing event. I will miss a
VERY key meeting in late July occurring on the same date as my nephew's
wedding because I decided that my physical presence is more important to my
family than to my colleagues for this event. 

Sometimes we may choose "family first" and decline opportunities to do other
things, like attend conferences. At other times, we decide the "event" is
more important and won't trigger a major crisis in our families if we
attend. Usually we guess right; other times we don't. 

Laws and policies may help "level the playing field" so we can even HAVE
that choice to attend meetings (and jobs) with our babies. Still, it's
always up to the mother to decide what's best for her and her babies and
family. And common courtesy compels us to consider the effect of our
children's (and our own) "reasonable" and "unreasonable" behavior on others.


So, back to the point. Babies should be welcome at breastfeeding
conferences. Disturbances bother everyone, including the baby. If a balance
cannot be struck, then everyone loses. 

Life is like that. 

Linda J. Smith, BSE, FACCE, IBCLC
Bright Future Lactation Resource Centre, Ltd.
6540 Cedarview Ct, Dayton OH 45459
ph 937-438-9458 / fax 937-438-3228
www.BFLRC.com  
 

-----Original Message-----
From: Morgan Gallagher [mailto:[log in to unmask]] 
Sent: Wednesday, February 18, 2009 10:37 AM
Subject: Re: stepping up - more

Okay, we have now swapped purposes here.

We started by pointing out that we SHOULD enable mothers and babies to 
enact their full lives, in public.  Now, we're saying Mums should stay 
at home and take joy in their little ones, and wait.

It's breaking down the notion that Mums can't take part with their 
little ones, that we're working, on no?  Surely it's about HAVING BOTH!  :-)

I'm 47, with a 4 year old, and new to this entire breastfeeding larky.  
How much longer should I wait before taking part?  Because I can tell 
you, jobs for newly trained 55 year olds may be a tad difficult to find!

Also, surely my most pertinent contribution, is to be made whilst I'm 
still breastfeeding, and still living in the land of milk?  And, like 
many mothers, I need the social congress of this type of event, to 
combat society forcing me into the home because it won't accommodate my 
child in the first place!

Morgan Gallagher

Beginning Lactation Services wrote:
> I hit send and not cut...oops!!!!
>
> I just wanted to echo my agreement!
>
> I wish that moms didn't feel in such a rush to move onto the next step 
> of their lives...
> Yes it is important to go to conferences and intereact and learn from 
> others; but not nearly as important as it is to care for their child 
> where they are at right now!
> Time flies way too quickly...
> Let's enjoy .... right now.... for this moment!
>

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