Today I received an e-mail from a foster mom - who said "this is such a
waste of money" about our state breastfeeding website...
www.cdph.ca.gov/healthinfo/healthyliving/childfamily/Pages/CommonQuestions.a
spx

"What do you tell the foster mothers that raise and care for their foster
babies?  Why are these foster- mothers adopting these children and keeping
these very sick babies alive with that terrible formula?  You make women
feel guilty if women choose not to breastfeed.  Don't be silly, good
mothering is the answer not whether you breast or bottle feed."

My first thought was to not send her a response - she needed to vent - she
is of course angry and upset - probably doesn't get enough reimbursement for
all the time and effort she expends - I am sure she is up many times a night
- often with infants whose mothers were on drugs and are in withdrawal - or
with children who were abandoned, mistreated, etc.  When we are frustrated
we lash out at whatever "seems" to be getting a larger proportion of the
budget (especially right now in California!).

Then I thought of responses such as:

I know of foster moms who breastfed their foster kids

I know of foster moms who did their best to get banked human milk for their
charges that were having problems dealing with formula

IF we can get more moms to breastfeed, there would be less money spent
feeding infants, providing medical care for them, etc...and more available
for other programs including hers...

IF we can help more mothers breastfeed, maybe we could prevent infant abuse
and neglect and reduce the pressure in the CPS and foster care system...

But would any of these responses be helpful to her?  She needs to feel
"heard" - that SHE is a "good" mother even if she is not breastfeeding her
charges - that SHE is an important "mother" and DOES meet the baby's need
when mom is not available?

Thoughts?

Jeanette Panchula, BSW, RN, PHN, IBCLC
http://cdhp.ca.gov/programs/breastfeeding



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