I,too, focus on what the mother has accomplished. I say "what a wonderful
gift you gave to your baby", no matter how short a time she breastfed. I use
these words in my pre-natal class also : "If you only chose to breastfeed for
the first few days, you'd be giving your baby the wonderful gift of
colostrum". I want them to remember that, if things go wrong.
  When a mother tells me that she's weaning or weaned, I plant the idea that
she can offer the breast for comfort for both the baby and herself for as
long as she wants to. So many Moms think that it's all or nothing.
 Years ago when I was in my * ringing bells on street corners* phase I would
feel very down when a mother quit. I've learned not to take responsibility
for the outcome. I do suggest, when I hear the desperation in their voice,
"How do you feel about giving it 24 more hours ?". Sometimes that will help
them hang in.
 I also give them a wide range with the treatment plan from the ideal on
down. Specially with latch on problems, not every mother can cope with cup,
dropper or finger feeding. Not every baby becomes nipple confused. If giving
a bottle instead of the cup, dropper etc enables the mother to keep trying
longer, then so be it. If a nipple shield as an absolute last resort will get
that baby to breast, then I use it. With supervised use, and cautions about
milk transfer and need to pump afterwards etc. a shield can be the turning
point.

I think this is the most fascinating job in the world !

Beverley Rae, MSW CSW IBCLC
A Happy LC in Manhasset, NY