As the year end draws nearer I find myself looking back and reminiscing over
the families I've worked with in 2008, especially the ones that really
taught me something new.  The other day a familiar face from last winter
appeared at my office door after my last appointment - a mother who began
exclusively breastfeeding at 10 weeks, after a long and tortuous path on
which it was my good fortune to accompany her along the way.  The child is
now a year old, and they are still very happily breastfeeding. I learned a
lot about relactation from this family, and it has stood me in good stead
when I met another family in the fall who really needed that knowledge.  

In both these cases, and indeed in many others, it was striking to see how
the mothers' behavior changed as breastfeeding took hold.  Both of these
women articulated the change, and said that breastfeeding was a defining act
in seeing themselves as mothers.  For me the change in them was apparent in
the calm that only comes when a void has been filled.  Giving birth and
wanting to breastfeed, and having it not work out, causes a void.  These
families were very grateful that there was someone there who had the
information they needed, and who understood why they needed it. The
gratitude they express gives me strength to support other women.  I'm still
waiting for a woman to say she wished she'd stopped sooner, that it was a
waste of time to try to solve all the problems that arose, even in the cases
where we never managed to solve them and the breastfeeding ended.  

The woman who came to drop off a greeting on the occasion of her child's
birthday said 'It's been a year, and I have thought about you at least once,
usually oftener, every single day, as I savor what breastfeeding has been
for us.'   The same day I got a card from a mother whose experience was very
different, and who ended up weaning to formula, saying thanks for helping
her preserve her dignity at that time.  Every one of you on this list has
someone (probably more than one!) who thinks of you with gratitude, who
includes you in the love they give their child, even if they don't always
drop by to tell you about it every six months or so.  How many people are so
lucky?  

There are many people on this list who are in my thoughts often, as I help a
mother by using a technique or information I have acquired through Lactnet.
Some I've gotten to actually meet, others continue to be cherished e-mail
contacts, and some I'm looking forward to meeting in 2009. Thank you all for
being there, for each other, for us all, and for breastfeeding.  You are all
needed!

Rachel Myr
getting sappy in Kristiansand, Norway

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