I love Edwina's response. Very Edwina-esque!!
When my High Need, rather "Colicky" babies were small (and one of them had
what my then LLL leaders in the mid 80s called, later on, when we knew each
other) called "The worst case of Colic we had ever seen. We felt so bad for
that "16 year old Mom with that poor colicky baby." (Despite the fact that I
was 24. But my new LLL friends didn't know that, and sans make up, I looked
about 16 or younger at the time. :) )
Anyway, when my babies were young, other people would ask me, "Is she a
GOOD baby?"
I assumed (even at 24, looking 16) that people meant "By "Good" is the
meaning encompass; Does she not cry, "bother you" with constant demands to
be held, sleep through the night, feed when it is good for YOU, take feedings
from "grandma" or others, for their pleasure, not mine or the baby's, is easy
to "leave with a baby sitter" and can be put down whenever you see this as
convenient?"
I would answer, "If by "Good" I assume you mean the opposite of Evil. As Evil
is a behavior and thought which is often chosen, and entails intentional harm,
wickedness, and immoral behavior towards others, then NO, my baby
isn't "Evil." She is an innocent infant, who is not even capable of the concept
of Evil. If by "good" you mean a baby who sleeps all the time, doesn't cry, and
doesn't 'bother' me with demands, which are only necessary for her Bonding
and Survival, then I guess, in your thoughts, she is NOT a "Good Baby.""
Usually, people would glaze over a few minutes into this diatribe, but the ones
who stayed would usually miss the Point and say, "You are saying your baby
isn't 'good?' Maybe you let her get away with too much." *SIGH* I would then
reply that this was MY baby, and that I wasn't put out by the needs of a
normal infant. And that my Love for my baby, and meeting her needs was more
important than my desires for quiet or free time. Rarely did anyone "get it" but
I felt better.
The View From Here
Mary Jozwiak IBCLC, RLC, LLL
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