"I'd be exhausted too if I had to wake fully, schlep down the hall, settle a now 
crying and awake baby, and then go back to settling to sleep myself!"

I have some refrigerator magnets that are shaped like people.  It occurred to me years ago that they make good symbols for child rearing styles.  Hold the magnets far apart, and there's no tension between them.  That's bottle-feeding.  Mama can be on the other side of the world, and it doesn't matter.  Baby will still get fed and Mama's breasts won't demand emptying.

Let the magnets smack together, and there's also no tension.  That's attachment parenting.  No energy goes into trying to get away, mother and baby are in synch day and night, each always knows where the other is, milk flows easily and frequently.

But hold the magnets a little ways apart and the tension is enormous.  That's American-style breastfeeding.  The mother wants to provide breastmilk, but she also wants as much freedom from the baby as possible.  It's a really difficult balancing act to maintain - much easier just to separate the magnets by switching to formula or let the magnets smack together by bringing the baby into bed at night and wearing him during the day.  It's hard for the mother in that oh-so-tense distance-keeping mode to believe that she's chosen the most difficult path of all.

Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC  Ithaca, NY  USA
www.wiessinger.baka.com





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