----- Original Message -----
From: "Carolyn Schindewolf" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 11:14 PM
Subject: Re: [LACTNET] client with "severe nipple pain"
> Royce: Sounds like the classic "yeah, but" patient. Have had many. I
> wouldn't contact her; sounds like she has already decided what the agenda
> would be. I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. I tend to take my
> patient's success/failures personally but we have to remember we are there
> to consult. There is nothing we can do if the consult isn't followed.
>
> Carolyn Schindewolf, BS, LCCE, IBCLC
**I agree with this. In the Netherlands, we have a word for this:
"excuus-Truus", Truus being a somewhat oldfashioned girls name. It means
that sometimes you get the impression that, indeed, women have already made
up their minds and they call you either in order to be able to say they
called an lc and even she couldn't help, or to get your 'blessing': "Yes,
this problem is só serious, you have no other option but to stop
breastfeeding." In most cases, the last thing isn't true. I often say: "Many
problems are not insoluble in itself. It greatly depends on how much time
and energy you are willing and able to spend on solving it. Only you can
tell when you run out of energy." Presenting weaning as something that has
fallen on a mother like inevitable fate, makes her a victim, which isn't
very empowering in the long run. It will also make it harder to accept
things, so I'm very much in favour of trying to make mothers see that they
are making a (conscious) decision, rather than being overwhelmed and seeing
only one way out: quit. Not choosing something from my 'trick box' is up to
them, it's their freedom, but by spreading their story of 'invincible
problems', women can easily put other mothers at a setback, which is sad and
better be prevented. Everyone is different, often you don't know in advance
how much strength you will find in hidden drawers that can be pulled open by
your love for your baby. And sometimes the other way around: even well
organized women with demanding jobs can be exhausted by the unpredictability
of a newborn. I had my feeding-moms-group yesterday evening: absolutely
wonderful, to see how they encourage and strengthen oneanother!
Warmly,
Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands
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