It also refuses to identify the most common reason for feeling you need
it - fear. Whilst there are some women who genuinely feel that it's
appropriate for them to cover up, for whatever reason, most women are
trying desperately not be criticised. Nursing outside the domestic
sphere can be nerve wracking, from that sense of intense vulnerability
that others are going to be upset and interfere. Fear of being hassled,
fear of being left emotionally exposed by others. Fear of having your
precious baby put in an ugly situation.
Language which suggests 'discretion' is appropriate, without making it
clear that it's a defence tactic to avert personal criticism, also
builds on this notion that to breastfeed is inherently 'immodest'. It's
one problem I have with a lot of 'advice' to be discreet at all costs.
It's not being said as "protect yourself at all costs", but builds on
the notion that it's _appropriate_ to cover up generically. These
devices do the same thing, as does the language around them.
Some Mamas need camouflage, so some Mamas should use camouflage. But
that's meeting individual needs on fear and insecurity in the main, and
internal versions of modesty in the minor. We just never talk about it
as being motivated by fear and insecurity - thus letting it all slide by
being unspoken.
And it's not just outside domestic spaces. The most problems I've had
and I share this with many others, is older male relatives in their
home, or mine. My friend, married to a son of an aged Church of
Scotland Minister, was presented with a woollen poncho as a present, to
allow her to breastfeed their grandchildren whilst he was in the room.
This resulted in one memorable meal, where thinking she was 'safe' under
the poncho, she spent one entire course with a completely naked breast
exposed as she passed the soup....
Oh, to have breasts that small and perky. I would have had a badly
burnt breast!
Morgan Gallagher
[log in to unmask] wrote:
> In response to this message,
> new mothers might feel less emboldened to feed their babies in public,
> not more so, b/c they believe that to do so w/o "discretion" is
> unacceptable. This movement towards "discretion" is a very subtle
> undermining of the right of infants to be fed anywhere at any time.
> This product is a response to cultural ideas about breastfeeding that
> this particular mom and sadly, many others, have internalized. It is a
> symptom of something very wrong with our culture, not an obvious
> solution to an obvious problem. While "some" babies may be breastfed
> b/c of a product like this, we will surely come no closer to
> breastfeeding as a biological/cultural norm b/c of it.
>
>
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