Sadly, Nikki, the hospital corporation here has opened a doula service that
includes breastfeeding 'help'. They are the very ones who had an oversized
novelty baby bottle on their display table at Cathy Genna's excellent recent
talk in NJ. I went to their table three times to politely ask them to put the
bottle away. They looked at me blankly when I asked them if they didn't
think it inappropriate, odd, at the very least, ironic, and to me, offensive, to
have a bottle (to advertise their business) on display at a----BREASTFEEDING
conference?????? I mentioned the declaration we sign, the code we adhere
to---just clueless. AARGH! One of them came to me as the conference was ending
and said she had spoken to some people, giggle giggle, and now she
understood. This was discussed among all the people sitting around me and yet they
were very blase and accepting of it as no big deal. They were 'proud' of me
when I was persistent. Yes, these are the new doulas the hospital will be
'pushing' (offering) to patients who are their captive audience. So again, the
living room womanly sharing of education and attendant passion for the norm is
missing in the money making paradigm. Surely there are some hospital classes
that are unique but they are rare, IMO.
I am a Sixties woman and I am sad that my 35 year old daughter, mother of
two born normally, breastfed and breastfeeding to baby-led weaning, is fighting
the same battles I fought. And she and her similar thinking peers are
called martyrs and slaves to their babies, etc. They talk about their fear of
DYFS and remain underground in their discussions of unmedicated births,
co-sleeping and breastfeeding because they are sick of the ridicule--this my daughter
of many talents, with Drew U, Columbia and Harvard University credentials.
I rail at the system where these mothers are imtimidated in hospitals by
judgemental ignoramuses, or shunned, left without even the slightest care because
'..if they want it that way they can just do it all themselves'. Raging,
weeping, frustration and wonderment at why women are not up at arms about the
ravaging of the birthing process, I am going to read Pushed soon. My daughter
told me about it and it is a Q and A by the authors with all maternity staff
at a local hospital about their tactics. I'm certainly not pushing a book
but I am interested in how the author approached the issues in her questions
and amazed that the staff was willing to answer!
I will also weigh in on the teaching of bottlefeeding methods and equipment.
I wonder who of us can remember the list of "most like mother" bottle teats
marketed since 1973, when I started as a breastfeeding support person. For
a long time (and still sometimes), when I was asked about which I thought was
best, I told patients that this was the domain of their pediatric team.
Type of formula and bottle feeding styles were not in the position description
of an LC or LLLeader. The PNP in most pediatric offices knew this area inside
and out. Sometimes I would tell people that this was not my area of
expertise, and again send them back to their pediatrician, hoping they would realize
that this was a medical decision rather than a shopping choice. I saw a lot
of normal then. As my practice and the field evolved, I began to see mostly
the most difficult of cases. So discouraging at times. Pumps, alternate
feeding devices, marketing and selling in major chains have also shifted how
many LC's think of their role in infant feeding. It is with the difficult
cases that I think I began to give more instruction on how to feed a baby with
alternate methods from the norm, most often with the hope that this would keep
options to breastfeed open and support the baby in eing properly nourished.
I was, am, the end of the road for a lot of people interested in br
eastfeeding and facing great obstacles. So for easy bottle feeding questions I send
them to their peds or to Google or one of the many websites so that they can
print out material or see what appeals to them personally. For ALL situations,
I stress using whatever works best for their baby and define what 'works
best for baby' means. For the difficult situations where I am listing options
of feeding methods, I have related the breastfeeding problem to the bottle
teat type as an explanation of why I think that might work.
I am happy to remind parents that they are being heavily studied by the
marketers for all of the baby junk sold out there and that they have to do their
research and use what works at their house. Eyes pop open then.
I can't imagine why anyone would expect to come to a class on breastfeeding
and expect information on bottle feeding. I would strenuously object to
teaching a segment on bottlefeeding in a childbirth ed class. I agree with the
person who asked why we would then not be expected to teach about APNEA
monitors and all the other things mentioned. There should be separate
breastfeeding and bottle feeding classes. Some mothers might attend both. I would hope
that there would be no conflict of interest issues as I so often see, or
pressure on the mother to make the choice we want for ourselves. That's none of
our business and only perpetuates the whole women bashing women heartbreak.
Oh, how our lines can become blurred. Off my post-Thanksgiving soap box
now. We had a lovely day starting at 5 AM trekking into NYC with children and
grandchildren to watch the amazing Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade from my
son-in-laws office window. Catered, bathrooms, comfy chairs and perfect weather.
It could never again be that perfect. When we finished eating back at the
kids house at 5 PM, we thought it was more like midnight but it was a day of
celebration of the goodness of human beings, including the people in the
dense human gridlock who made way for my daughter with my year old granddaughter
asleep in the baby carrier (never take a stroller into a crowd). The happy
roar of the crowd gave me goose bumps--so much collective joy over larger than
life sights and sounds.
Regards,
Jeanne Rago
Lactation Consultants, Inc.
Morristown, NJ
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