----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rachel Myr" <[log in to unmask]>
To: <[log in to unmask]>
Sent: Sunday, January 06, 2008 7:04 PM
Subject: [LACTNET] Birth and breastfeeding and focus of Lactnet

**Hello Rachel (and all others),

> But the bottom line for Lactnet is that posts need to have something to do
> with helping mothers to breastfeed.  Anything that has been shown to
> improve
> outcomes or to worsen them, is an accepted topic for posts to this list.

**I want to say that after reading all the postings, considering questions
as to whether the checkered guy and the way things went in that clip were
representing an typical Dutch home birth, being informed about research that
tells about the bf outcomes with home vs. hospital deliveries ánd thinking
back about my own deliveries (about which I wrote, no crossing
Lactnet-borders intended...), I realized something that may turn out very
valuable this year. The provincial working committee I'm in still has a hard
time getting all disciplines in the 'chain care' into a comfortable
atmosphere, where all aspects are valued and considered. It is mostly about
money, even when that is vigorously denied. That gives me a sad feeling and
even made my collegue decide not to go to the meetings again, because she
cannot stand anylonger being patronized as a volunteer. It is exactly the
discussion about midwives/home deliveries, that made me realize that the
midwives practice in my town (who are not actively involved in the committee
yet) is the place I could 'bond', because chances are they have fewer
interventions than the hospital setting and therefore better chances of
natural bf experiences.
Even though I'm well aware that every personal story is what it is, viz.
personal, to me it was very, very educative to see what drives people and
how, like you say, their experiences get embedded in their soul, in their
being. That is exactly why we as IBCLC's (to be) are often so passionate
about our jobs: we know what it can mean to a mother ánd her baby, even if
their experience is not exactly like ours. We know it will be different, but
not when it comes to how it impacts their lives. That is the same all over
the world, as all the personal stories have shown, and that is why we work
hard to let these experiences coincide with mothers' dreams and family's
wishes. We want to give them a headstart and having the stories of
well-trained people in our minds, can help us build a register we can draw
from, to level with a mom who's trying to express her feelings. That is
wonderful; saying: "I heard a story from someone and she told that... XYZ"
or "Is it that you mean you feel ... ABC?" (digging from our (LActnet)
archives) can greatly help to show that you know your work field and at the
same time creates more distance than "Oh, yes, me too!" It sometimes feels
like mediating, like helping a mother to find the words that are so hard to
find because she is 'emotionally overflown'. Helping her to get a grip on
her experience may help to clear things up and find a way to move on.

I also want to clear things up in the committee and think the midwives could 
play an important role and we could work together on interdependency. I 
really don't think this would have been so clear to me today, had I not read 
all the discussions and views, so yes: I think the topics will improve 
outcomes of at least interdisciplinary meetings, the basis for better 
policies.

All of this dawned on me as a result of last days' discussions and posts. I
understand that the moderators feel (and have) a responsibility to keep
things on topic. Let me tell then, that I don't feel the owners failed us by
not cutting off discussions early enough. I think all of us may have learned
a lot from it, enabling us to get well (or at least better) informed about
practices in other countries. I don't know where else I could find a
possibility to achieve that, with lactation at the basis of conversations.

We
> can even handle a certain amount of borderline discussion and side
> threads,
> but the turn this thread has taken into the realm of the very personal,
> holds the potential to derail this list, at least temporarily, because of
> the emotion it arouses and the concomitant volume of posts it generates.
> I
> hope that's not why any of us subscribed.  I like emotions as much as the
> next person, and I have them frequently myself, but I'd love it for
> Lactnet
> to get back its focus and resume being the passionate but not so emotional
> lifeline I need so much in my work.

**I, too, have come to love this list as an incredibly valuable means of
enlarging knowledge. And what I love so much, is the fact that many of us
dare and decide to show that they are not only passionate but also emotional
about certain issues. When we are consciously emotional, it may be easier to
relate to the emotions of others, and we, of all caregivers, deal with a
very emotional group. Blowing off steam and getting to the core of things
on a list with collegues imo increases chances that we can be passionate but
in control when dealing with emotional moms. Being able to give a voice to
your strong experiences with a well-meaning, attentive audience is healing 
and
empowering, even if the audience was not set out to be a therapist of any
kind (it can be Lactnet, but also a neighbour). We can hand down  (a smell, 
a glimpse of) this process to a mother, not merely a technique, whether 
about bf or about something else, but about becoming strong and autonomous 
and self-reliant. Babies profit by that. I have even wondered, if immunity 
might benefit from that...

A mother feeling 'in her own strength' will definitely do breastfeeding 
good. What seems to be a side issue may later turn out to be the core 
business (Royce, your case from yesterday!). Therefore, I didn't feel things 
being off topic; our area of expertise is so broad and involves so many 
sides of being a human being. To me, sometimes lactation is hardly about 
breastfeeding, but about being a woman. Did anyone read 'Women Who Run With 
the Wolves' from Clarissa Pinkola Estés...? I gave it to my 17 year old 
daughter who moved out last August... obligatory literature for an adult 
woman to be! hahaha Well, I won't get any further into this, as I don't want 
to annoy our list mother Rachel, who's postings I always enjoy so much!

Warmly,

Marianne Vanderveen, Netherlands

             ***********************************************

Archives: http://community.lsoft.com/archives/LACTNET.html
To reach list owners: [log in to unmask]
Mail all list management commands to: [log in to unmask]
COMMANDS:
1. To temporarily stop your subscription write in the body of an email: set lactnet nomail
2. To start it again: set lactnet mail
3. To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
4. To get a comprehensive list of rules and directions: get lactnet welcome