A very interesting thread - What are we all here for? Unfortunately, due to a
variety of constraints (cultural, biological, etc.) breastfeeding is not a cut and
dried, black and white, all or none issue, like Mother Nature intended.
I like to tell parents to take all the information they have been given (from
nurses, doctors, their mothers (in-laws, too), their girlfriends, books, the
Internet, videos, and of course, the LC and lay it out on their mental tables,
sort thru it, and put together a parenting (breastfeeding) package they feel
will realistically work for them, given their particular lifestyles. And if Plan A
doesn't work, move on to Plan B. This advice covers all an LCs bases. I am
not part of a parent's decision-making process. Like another poster stated, I
exist to give her the information she needs to make a decision that is realistic
for her and that will be successful.
If a parent asks if I can come home with them, I have failed. I got the
following quote from someone in LLLI a few years ago and have it posted
prominently in my office:
If you give advice and it works, the mother may become dependent on you
and call you for everything, instead of learning to research on her own, trust
her own judgement, and make her own decisions.
If you give advice and it doesn't work, the mother may become angry or
resentful. You have set yourself up to accept the blame for her failure, and
she may no longer trust your judgement.
If you give advice and she doesn't follow it and she fails, she may feel
insecure in her own decisions and become dependent on you, or grow to
resent you.
If you give advice and information and encourage the mother to make her own
decisions, then you are EMPOWERING her.
LISTEN HARDER AND SPEAK SOFTER...
Truer words were never spoken. Thank you to whoever said this first.
Pam Hirsch, BSN,RN,IBCLC
Clinical Lead, Lactation Services
Advocate Good Shepherd Hospital
Barrington, IL USA
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