Leslie, there's also the consideration of how, if you don't proceed to lecture this woman, you might have greater influence in the future with other moms.  If you upset this woman who is well-esteemed, she can discount your ability to help other mothers.

You don't know what she knows.  Maybe she knows that her endocrine situation (PCOS?) is severe enough that an adequate supply is unlikely and she doesn't want the stress of working on it.  It's also her right to enjoy the early days with her baby without the bfdg learning curve.

If she's already yelling at you (in caps!), maybe you just want to rejoice with her in finally having a baby of her own to love and avoid the Nazi reputation so you'll be a "safe" resource for other moms in the future.
It's okay to grieve the baby's lack of breastmilk/breastfeeding in your heart while you rejoice in the mom's motherhood with the mom.

Debbi Heffern
St. Louis, MO

-----Original Message-----
From: Lactation Information and Discussion [mailto:[log in to unmask]] On Behalf Of Leslie Cree
Sent: Monday, October 08, 2007 12:59 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: best way to reach an adamant non-breastfeeder

Hi,
I am hoping that all of you who are really talented at expressing yourselves 
and working with reluctant mothers can help me with some words of wisdom. I 
had a conversation last night with an expectant mother at our church. She 
told me that she is  having a scheduled cesarean section on Oct. 30 and so I 
happily told her that I could be in to see her Nov. 1 or 2 to help her get 
breastfeeding going well before she goes home. Her reply was, "I am NOT 
GOING THERE with the whole breastfeeding thing." (yes, she all but shouted 
the comment, which is why I used caps). Ordinarily I'd just bow out--first 
because I want to be liked at church and secondly because she is an older 
professional woman who I'd assume has a good level of education and a 
reason for not wanting to breastfeed. But...I have been reading and taking 
the recent posts to heart that we must be truth tellers and not make 
assumptions. In the long run, it doesn't matter whether she likes me or not, 
does it? I see a responsibility to inform her of how much risk there is to her 
formula feeding her baby. I don't know much of her history, other than that it 
took a lot of medical effort for her to get and stay pregnant. She is a de-
facto auntie to many of the babies in our church, but I so want her to be able 
to experience the bonding with her own baby that she has waited so long for. 
If this isn't an appropriate "to the list" topic" I welcome heartily your private 
responses--and apologize for taking up LactNet space. 
Very humbly,
Leslie Cree
(11 more days--yikes!)

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