I'm glad to see that the issue of bottle-feeding breastmilk/mother-
baby separation is being addressed here, even though each post just
rips me to shreds...I'm going to have my 3rd baby in a few days
(please, let this baby come out in a few days!) and, when it is 12
weeks old, I'll be going back to work.
Neither of my first two babies took bottles. There were probably
things I "could have" done to encourage/force bottle use by my babies,
but I refused to let them cry, go hungry, or not nurse when I was
available to them. My work situation is one that I was able to make
flexible -- I have my babies during a high-separation time of year (so
I'm on maternity leave then) and I return when our schedule is
relatively slow and flexible so that I am able to get to my baby in a
timely manner to feed, at least for that first 6 months (I'm home for
3, then juggling a bit for 3).
I will also tell you that both of my children reverse cycled -- had
their 3-4 hour stretch of sleep while I was at work and rarely went 2
hours at night between feedings. While this exhausted me, I have the
support of my husband (who has the same out-of-the-home job as I do).
He protects my sleep when we have the time for me to sleep. He picks
up the slack in our home so that I can rest with the baby.
I tell you all of my experiences because, while I know I am lucky to
be in my situation with a supportive husband and a job I can
manipulate a bit (not without penalty, but that's of no consequence to
me when it comes to the needs of my babies!) -- my experience
demonstrates that there may be more than one way to skin a cat, so to
speak. I got pregnant thinking I'd be like "everyone else" and leave
my baby in a daycare center with bottles of breastmilk while I went
back to work...but my little girl had other ideas for how things would
go and I had to think outside the box -- a lot! It was hard for me to
come to grips with the needs of my baby, and even harder for me to
convince people I worked for to accept that my baby would be with me
whenever possible (we're musicians, we travel a lot, and my kids come
with us on trips or to faraway concerts). However, I could see no
feasible alternative -- letting my baby go hungry until she "learned"
to take a bottle or denying her a
ccess to me and my breasts when we were together simply were not
options I could accept.
I guess I was one of those mothers who "had to" bottlefeed, but I
never actually did. It bears mentioning that my daughter breastfed
until a few months shy of her 4th birthday and her brother, who turned
3 this past fall, is still enjoying his "un" (and is very happy the
baby will come soon so he can share!). I tandem nursed for almost 2
years, all the while my work schedule evolved back into "normal" as my
children were better equipped to separate from me.
I offer my story (for those of you still reading!) in the spirit of
thinking outside the box on this issue. Yes, the United States has a
long way to go on this topic and on recognizing the value of
motherhood, in general, on a society. However, sometimes a mother who
thinks she needs help getting her baby to take a bottle may appreciate
help brainstorming other ways she can manage the breastfeeding
relationship. I know this opens up a whole other can of worms
(whether to answer the questions WE want to address or the ones the
mother actually presents...I as a LLL Leader have LLL philosophy to
stand on when I answer questions so I feel that when a mother comes to
me, I am justified in offering a bit more answer than she might have
asked for) but...I think this presents another viable wrinkle in the
scope of breastfeeding advocacy and mother-baby togetherness.
--Diana in NY
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