I've been most interested in this thread and decided to pop out of lurkdom to add my .02.

First, I appreciate hearing the stories of those who have personal experience with this.  I believe your stories have helped us to wrap our *hearts* around something that we are trying to understand cognitively.  Thank you.

I would like to add one thought.  As a therapist, I can attest to the truth of what's already been shared about issues of control, flashbacks and other problems related to surviving abuse.

That said, I would also submit that this issue is so complex that the end result is much more than the sum of the possible parts.  Damage sustained by any form of child abuse is deep and has more components than can easily be identified or described, in part because it is buried so deeply and embedded into the psyche.  We are only beginning to understand the chemical and structural underpinnings of a brain that has been altered by trauma.  Each person experiences different nuances of lasting trauma.  Some--not all--factors are: age at time of abuse, length of exposure to trauma, family constellation, support at revelation (if indeed revelation happens), health of attachment prior to and following, supportive people later in life, and on and on it goes.

So, while all that has been discussed offers valid important insight into why a woman might not want to breastfeed, it does not define it.  

I also contend that if she has enough information, support, and wherewithall to give breastfeeding a try, many, many, many of these same women find it to be a remarkably healing experience.  Often it is the empowerment of a good birth that helps her to be able to consider this.  Not all women can.  I ache for their ongoing pain.  We in this profession, maybe more than any others, need to be offering all the compassion we are able to give, helping them to step into mothering in the best possible ways.

Nancy Williams
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