Everyone,

Could we stop the comparison of HBOTB to Ezzo/Babywise? What Ezzo teaches is
adversarial - us (parents) against them (babies).It is about establishing a
schedule, making babies do as they are told, making them eat, sleep and play
when the parents say it is appropriate. It is also judgemental and demeaning
when it comes to babywearing, co-sleeping, holding "too much" and a variety
of other baby caring behaviors that virtually all of us on this list would
agree are good for babies. 

Dr. Karp in HBOTB, reiterates over and over that parents should be CATERING
TO BABY by providing a womb like environment, and slowly transitioning baby
from womb to world. Each technique explained in HBOTB is couched in terms of
baby's developments and baby's needs. Just because you calm your baby or
even get him to sleep, doesn't mean you go put him down somewhere. For me,
the HB techniques calmed him but he still could not be put down. So it
wasn't about making my life easier so I could go do what I wanted.

I don't know what other educators say and what other people understand when
reading the book, but you DON'T CALM A CALM BABY. If the baby isn't crying,
why on earth would you be trying to swaddle/shh/jiggle etc?

We are now blaming Dr. Karp for hospital swaddling? Nursery nurses have
tightly swaddled babies forever. I don't think you can blame that on him, or
even the resurgence of swaddling on him. 

Jennifer said: "It makes no sense from a biological perspective that some
babies are "just colicky" or have such a temperament. What does make sense
is that
something is very wrong."

That is exactly what Dr. Karp says. Babies in other cultures (traditional or
primitive if you will) DO NOT HAVE COLIC or high needs behavior. Why do our
babies have it and other cultures babies do not? Have we lost something
fundamental?  Their babies are strapped to someone ALL day, nursing often,
constantly moving, etc. 

When I think of universal truths of birth/babies/parenting, I think what
works outside of my culture and time in history. Babywearing, swaddling,
breastfeeding, movement, music/noise (even the "shhh" sound) have existed
forever and do not require any extra equipment or experts. Anyone can do
those things and can all be passed down mother to mother (even though now
they have to be taught in classes in many instances). CST, Flower Bach
Remedies and Chiropractic are not things that exist in all cultures and
across all time. 

I am honestly so frustrated with blaming the crying on the birth, pregnancy
or the mother not knowing what to do with or how to connect with her babies.
Several of us who have been in this field, had natural/home/unmedicated
births, are deeplly connected to our baby, etc have said that we had babies
who cried and cried and could only be helped thru HBOTB. When someone tells
you they tried EVERYTHING, maybe they did. These studies talking about
babies crying 2-3 hrs a day or when put down or alone are a joke to me. Try
crying all the time, being held or not, just fed or not, skin-to-skin or
not. You reach a new level of understanding when you've been there.

I must not know how to tell between quiet alert and a baby who is being shut
down or forced. Jennifer, Nikki, can you or anyone else tell me the
difference? I don't think I would have done that to my baby or anyone
else's. If I am missing it, I want to stop. I would never want to shut down
a baby or make him a zombie. What is the difference between calm and quiet
and forced into it and how can I recognize it?

What is the difference between forcing a baby to seamlessly shift from a
sympathetic state to a parasympathetic state and supporting him in doing so?
Who gets to decide what techniques fall into which category? If I have to
nurse, then rock and jiggle and shhh my baby am I forcing? Should it always
be an easy, quick shift/calming session? What does that mean exactly and how
do you know if you are doing it right? Don't some babies need more help than
others?

Can you prevent pregnancy or birth trauma (besides positive homebirth)? If I
get pregnant again I would rather avoid it. However, I am dismayed by the
thought that not only do I have to eat right and exercise, now I have to be
careful not to ever have a negative thought.

Jennifer:
I wish colic resolved easily with body work every time. That has not been my
experience. Maybe you should write a book about how to massage away your
baby's colic.

Again, I ask to those who say all babies always need their hands (I do think
newborns need their hands so don't hate me). What about babies who just hit
themselves and startle themselves and never or rarely find their hands for
comfort? Can there be some variations of normal in this area? Where could I
find info on how swaddling hands down disorganizes babies? I would like to
do my own research.

I really think we are all on the same team here. I think Dr. Karp really is
a breastfeeding supporter. None of us are perfect, even in our breastfeeding
support and knowledge. But if we spend all our time persecuting our friends
instead of our enemies, we are waisting valuable time and energy. I am not
saying don't question or confront each other, but I do think that this
discussion has assumed that this is just one more cocky, jerk male doc
trying to make a buck of vulnerable mothers. I think that assumption is false.

Micky Jones,BS, CLE, CLD, CHBE
www.mochamilk.blogspot.com

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET email list is powered by LISTSERV (R).
There is only one LISTSERV. To learn more, visit:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html