I agree with Pam--whenever we make normal feeding more difficult than
artificial feeding, we create barriers to normal feeding and imply that
artificial feeding is the norm. We need to drive the discussion and
make it clear that artificial feeding is the huge challenge with its
many difficulties, compromises and risks. So long as our cultural
paradigm expects artificial feeding, we cannot expect women to be able
to breastfeed with a complete sense of security and confidence.
So, in hospital, all mothers should be instructed in proper feeding of
their babies and if the mother chooses not to breastfeed, then she
should have a great deal of instruction on proper mixing and paced
feeding and risks of obesity and warning signs for diabetes and lists
of websites for recall information, etc. Then, those same moms should
be given information about feeding in public so as not to alarm
children and adults who are educated about the risks of AF and who will
be distraught at seeing babies fed AIM or fed by bottle or having their
mouths plugged with dummies.
When my now-18yr old son was 4, I picked up a mom at her house to take
her to the peer counselor training program I was conducting. She had
her 2 week old bf baby with her, but he had a dummy in his mouth. My
son blurted out--"Mommy, tell her to take that thing out of his
mouth!!" The mom became a very dear friend and her little guy nursed
for three years--her other children had only been nursed for months.
But, while I was very embarrassed, I also got an education about
paradigms. In my son's world, babies were only fed at breast--he hadn't
even weaned yet and his baby sister was tendem-nursing.
I am disturbed to think that we, as the self-appointed champions of
breastfeeding can justify the actions of the RMH in expecting a mother
to inform anyone that she is about to nurse her child before she does
so. What is she to do if someone states she is uncomfortable? Not feed
her child? Leave? Apologize? People make these kinds of comments when
they are about to do something that may be rude or disturbing to
others--like smoking or talking on a cell phone--not feeding a child!
Why would we accept anything less than that which is both right and
legal? This mother is under no legal obligation to inform anyone of
anything and the RMH simply needs to comply with the law in Texas.
I would like to raise this issue again--I'd like to see us stop using
the phrase "nursing in public" as if it is an entity unto itself.
Feeding a baby is feeding a baby. If we continue to differentiate
feeding in public, then we are agreeing that there is indeed a debate
to be had. When we enter into discussions like the one in Texas as if
the debate is legitimate, we compromise the rights of mothers and
babies. Our position needs to be clear and unified--feeding at the
breast is normal--anything else is a compromise and should be treated
as such.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
Intuitive Parenting Network LLC
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