So you think a brand new baby knows that crying =3D mommy or daddy
coming? I don't think babies are born knowing that. If they are
consistently responded to, they learn (crying, cooing, making noise etc
=3D adult attention to my needs) that quickly. That is what we WANT
them to learn. He says that in his book and educators are supposed to
say that in the class! It BECOMES communication but does not start off
that way.
Micky,
If the foundation of this training is that babies must be taught to
communicate, then I am more concerned than ever. Babies do indeed
expect that their communication efforts will be responded to. It is the
infant who is hard-wired to elicit appropriate parental response. If
you think about it, this is a brilliant design, since we are often
far-removed from our intuition and instincts, but the infant is not. If
we listen, pay attention, we will remember. If we second-guess the
infant and decide that we are to take control of the communication
process, we are undermining our infants' wiring and our own potential
to awaken. The infant is the modulator of his own well-being, fully
competent and aware. If we as adults knew this, we could not possibly
continue to justify the brutalities of western birth. Many babies need
healing and in denying their pain, we deny their experiences and make
healing impossible. We need to teach parents to listen to the language
our babies are born knowing, not force them to learn a new language of
our own (most certainly flawed) design.
I am also concerned by your comment that not all parents will use Bach
Flowers or CST. No, they will not, especially if a prominent physician
teaches them that they can control their babies behavior in a
culturally desirable way. How is this different from arguing that we
should optimize the ingredients in AIM since most parents will use it
anyway? Should we abandon the attempt to teach the imperative of
exclusive feeding at breast? If not, then why should we avoid offering
tools we think parents are unlikely to use?
I certainly agree that we cannot determine the choices parents will
make, but we can choose what we offer them. To disregard the competency
of the human infant is a grave error in judgment. Such denial is the
foundation of western birth practices, so it is no surprise that it
might become the foundation of infant care practices as well, but is
far from a step in the right direction.
Mickey, I understand how difficult it is to have an inconsolable baby.
My daughter was "colicky", or so I thought. She was difficult to feed,
slept across my chest all night long, cried for no apparent reason much
of the day, would absolutely not ride in a car unless I sat in the back
seat and nursed her (so, of course, I could only go out when my husband
drove, leaving me isolated at home with two young children in a rural
neighborhood).
It wasn't until she was 2 years old (still nursing, co-sleeping,
living in the sling), that I discovered the miracle of CST. I also
discovered a couple of years later that she had a very high palate and
finally realized that she is tongue-tied. It took a lot of bodywork to
help her normalize her nervous system and release sensory overload. She
was definately a "sensitive" baby. So, even thought she was born at
home, her long labor should have meant she had bodywork at birth. And,
b/c of the combination of tt and cranial misalignment, she nursed very
inefficiently and I had a constant oversupply. I am grateful that I did
not believe this was just her temperament and that I continued to
search for a solution to her "sensitivity". What I do know is that she
was always communicating, always trying to help me figure it out. Human
beings want to experience well-being and have the tools to direct us in
doing our part. I think it is a false premise to assume otherwise.
Jennifer Tow, IBCLC, CT, USA
Intuitive Parenting Network LLC
http://healinghumanpotential.blogspot.com/
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