> Other moms I know found it much easier to limit visitors, by having the 
> husband stand at the door and talk and not let many people get past the 
> entryway.
>


In a post-natal ward at a BFH one morning I had 14 interruptions between 6am 
and 8am - better than one every 10 mins.  This pretty much reflected each 
morning.  I would be in tears by 8am wanting my husband to be there to 
support me and deal with the people coming in.  On my own I felt not only a 
complete lack of support and nurturing but, at times, like I was the 
annoyance in the other person's day.

Later in the day when I had visitors the hospital interrupters would see the 
visitors, quickly ask what they wanted to, apologise for the interruption 
and go again.  I find this difference astounding.

After a few days I worked out that sitting in a chair breastfeeding without 
my shirt done up and no bra on was another way to get the length of time of 
interruptions shortened.  Their embarrassment scared them off very quickly.

I've found writing this email surprisingly cathartic.  I hadn't realised how 
much it was the tone of the person interrupting that bothered me, I just 
thought it was the number of interruptions.  I also hadn't realised one of 
the reasons why I wanted visitors around was for the nurturing.  I feel this 
explains why I both wanted visitors yet longed for quiet time to have just 
myself and my husband with our new baby.

Thinking back on this time I'm also surprised to realise how much I was 
grieving the time I had been separated from my girl (when she was in NICU) 
and that so much of the feeling 'lost' could likely have been solved if 
someone had come in and suggested skin-to-skin for hours on end, it would 
have been much more effective than coming in and saying 'are you feeding 
that baby *again*???'.

During the week I read
Giving children and parents a voice - the parents' perspective
Bridget Taylor, Pediatric Nursing Nov 2006 Vol 18 Issue 9 pg 20

While this article is about Bridget's "experiences as the mother of a child 
who was treated for leukaemia and died at the age of nine and a half years" 
I found the following particularly also very relevant to post-natal ward 
experiences:
"Yet what a relief it was when the nurse caring for us the morning we were 
due to go introduced herself and said 'what do you need?'  It's so simple 
isn't it...What do you need? Yet how rarely it's asked."

Suzie Heaton
Australia

             ***********************************************

To temporarily stop your subscription: set lactnet nomail
To start it again: set lactnet mail (or digest)
To unsubscribe: unsubscribe lactnet
All commands go to [log in to unmask]

The LACTNET email list is powered by LISTSERV (R).
There is only one LISTSERV. To learn more, visit:
http://www.lsoft.com/LISTSERV-powered.html